I am overwhelmingly sad today. I put way to much hope into this last cycle, even though I tried really hard not to. Going for the beta this morning knowing I was NOT pregnant was so frustrating, I even double checked to make sure this is the test they wanted because I am on CD2 of AF. Yep they wanted a beta and progestrone. I will be so mad if my P was low and they never supplemented me.
I picked up DD at my Mom's and just wanted to break down and cry, but I told myself I would not bring my Mom down with me. Even though as soon as I got home the flood gates opened. DD played quietly while I sat in the bedroom and lost it.
Why am I taking this so hard. I knew the chances of it workng the first cycle was rare.
This whole issue with us not being to afford IUIs and IVF is also getting to me. At least if we had coverage or made enough money I would have so hope, but right now I have none.
I feel so badly but everytime I look at DD it makes me sad that I will never have another little baby (this is how I feel at the moment) and me being this sad is not good for her.
I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous break down. What the hell do I do?
Also I am still torn about the acupuncture, money is the issue but I know I should keep going, especially since this cycle is unmedicated. I am lost.
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