New Years Resolutions

I make them every year but normally do not keep them... This year I am going to try my best...

1. Lose the baby weight... I would like to drop 40 pounds if possible.

2. Breastfeed until Camryn is a year and if we do not make it I plan on getting another tattoo to celebrate I did make it as long as I have (it has been 7 months- yay for me!)

3. Pay down debt (I say this every year LOL)

4. Write a Fan Fic (my new addiction)

5. Re read Twilight. (just saw New Moon for the fourth time - now I have to wait till March for the DVD)

6. Keep my house picked up, (toys toys everywhere)

7. Spend more alone time with my DH - we hardly do this because I hate not having the children around... More date nights.

8. Try to not have my crackberry attached to my hand 100% of the time... ( I have an addiction to my blackberry.)

9. Finally make a serious decision about Grad school... I am not going back again spring semester... But need to decide if I will finish. (I have been putting it off since I got pregnant with Camryn) I still have 4 years at least to go.

2010

Hope your 2010 is much better then your 2009

My 2009 was pretty good because we finally welcomed baby #2 to our family and we are so very blessed to have her.

Happy Birthday Avery!

Offically 4 :teary eyed:

My friend

A girl who i was really close to in HS has reconnected with me recently via FB. We have been to lunch and gotten together a few times. She and her DH (who gts along with mine very well) just foud out they are pregnant due in June.

She had a whole bunch of IUIs, one IVF and lost twin boys at 19 weeks. I am so happy for them, they totally deserve this.

FAN FICTION

Is the death of me, addicting

Yes that came out of my Husband's Mouth...

As much as I wish it was true he can really be funny sometimes.

All this week (I think it has been from stress) everytime I eat something I feel sick. I total this to Dh yesturday and he said

"Between that and your crazy mood swings lately I would guess you are pregnant"

OK Idiot.

Merry Belated Christmas

Hello everyone! Hope everyone's Christmas was merry and bright. And Santa treated you all well.

Avery and Camryn had a good Christmas and they made out like bandits!

My baby girl is now crawling and all over the place, guess it is time to child proof!

UPDATE ON US

It's about time... I have been keeping tabs on everyone's blogs promise.

Camryn

she is now 6 months old... oh where oh where has my baby gone??? She loves her jumper roo... and she is such a sweetie pie. The calmiest baby ever. We are still breastfeeding, but I think that may go to the way side soon, she is eating baby food and loves it so much. She is 100% attached to me, when I am around she is always checking to make sure she sees me. We are teething but no teeth yet. She had 5 shots on tTuesday and only cried when the last one was given then as soon as I hugged her she was all smiles again (melts hearts). She can roll and reaches for anything in her way. she is like a inch worm trying to reach stuff during tummy time. She gets on all 4s and acts like she plans on crawling but doesn't. She is such a joy to be around. I could not be luckier.

Avery

She is a soon to be 4 year old going on 16. She is such a huge help with her sister. Like right now Camryn wants to be held, Avery just went into the kitchen grabbed a spoon and handed it over to her, kissed her forehead and told her it would be alright. We saw Santa today, he had a nice conversation with Avery it was so sweet, she was in awwwww. School and dance are going well for her. She looks forward to it and asks almost everyday where we are going that day. she is still my sugar monster. Some of the things that come out of her mouth is amazing, We call them Averyisms.

Me

I am doing well. Except when I had a day of spotting that I thought I got my period. All brown no Red just for one day and it was heavy. weird. But my supply dropped that day and it has not really picked back up. Plus it is getting harder at work to pump so some days I do not do it. When I had the supply drop and the 24 hour AF I called the OB. They told me to take a pregnancy test... Hmmmm NO. I know I am not pregnant and to be completely honest I do not think right now is a good time to get pregnant (if it would happen by some miracle). But I would still welcome it. Since this happened my mom has been bugging me everyday to see if I tested yet , Hmmm no Mom I didn't. With 3-5% chances there is no way.

Now is suppost to be my busy time for ebay... well it has not been and that makes me nervous.

So that is where we are... Hoping to post more often busy I have been lacking lately.

UPDATE and PRAYERS

Sorry I have not updated lately... I have been sweeped up in NEW MOO.N Mania. I will update on that soon, because I have so many Avery stories to go along with it.

Also please if you can spare some prayers for Christy (Challenge the future) because she triggered this weekend after a horrible week or hormone troubles (they were not cooperating). Pray this is her sticky baby!

Love you Christy!!!!

History of us

I do not think I ever posted about how I met my DH and how our relationship unfolded. So I think I will...

I met DH at a neighborhood pool, he was a lifeguard there and I was a pool rat. He was 18 and me just 14. I hung out with him all summer and I secretly had a crush on him. He asked me out on a date with my Mom's permission first and of course I said yes. I just swooooned over him. Keep in mind I was alot more mature then most 14 year olds. Always have been. Plus my mom knew him well, she was on the pool's board.

After out first date we saw each other every night for 1 month. I was soo in love, I got butterflies every time I kissed him and holding his hand was like magic (remember I was 14). Sept came and he went off to school. We called each other several times week and he would come home, but it did not work out, he was too into partying so I broke it off. (after 6 months of dating)

We both moved on he had girlfriends and I had boyfriends (one in which wanted to marry me) but we always saw each other at local carnivals and he had a friend who was friends with a girlfriend of mine so we would see each other at parties etc. So in a way we always kept in touch.

The summer I graduated he suddenly showed up on my door step claiming that he was down the street at a friends house and thought he come by to see me. I chatted with him informed him I was going to college locally and I had a boyfriend. He seemed unfazed by the boyfriend part of my life and asked me for my number and if he could call me if there was any parties going on locally. He also informed me he dropped out of college and was local again. Secretly I wanted him to call me but again I was in a relationship.

We went from August to January not speaking, I did not hear from him or see him out. At Christmas time my boyfriend and I broke up, literally 5 days later I get a call from him about a party his friend was having and I could bring anyone I like. I dragged two of my friends to the party with me... it was so much fun and I felt like we have always hung out b/c the conversation went so smoothly. That night in his drunken stupor, he told me that he has always thought of me and wanted a relationship with me that he was always in love with me. I actually felt the same way... crazy huh? To this day we have never spoke of that night and if we did he would claim he never said those things.

We started dating and the first three years were filled with a lot of partying, one DUI for him, lots of LOVE, a doggie we still have, living together in my apartment at school (roommates probably not happy about that) and a break up over something illegal he was doing. During the break up I started seeing someone else during that 1 month apart. Of course it made him insanely jealous (he will not admit it). He got clean and realized I was the one.

We rekindled out relationship after I set some ground rules on how our relationship would unfold (no I am not controlling) it was just too much for me to go back to the way it was.

Soon after we bought a house (well I did - he moved in) and we got engaged after being together 5 1/2 years (we do not count the break up b/c well we were not together for 1 month - we call it our blip)

after getting married we had Avery and then the rest is history... we have been together for 12 years and been though alot but came out on top.

I fell in love with DH all over again when we had our children and seeing him with them is the most amazing thing.

My DH is the most supportive and caring person I know. He is my best friend and may tease me alittle (most recently it is about my new twilight obsession did I tell you Rob Pattin.son is my new boyfriend) He puts up with whatever crazy idea I am cooking up. Puts up with all my EBAY stuff around the house. He tried to support me the best he could during treatment even though he did not quite understand my desire. He actually takes very good care of me. We hardly ever fight probably because he gives into me easily. He is very laid back but sometimes can have a short temper and I have to bring him back to reality.

And while he is not the most romantic person and sometimes I like to wring his neck, I can not imagine life without him. He is truly the love of my life. and I think part of me actually knew this at 14.

LOVE to hear about how everyone met their husbands.

Another response!!!

The one nurse at my RE's office emailed me... They decided to utilize my offer to help out.

They are going to refer people to me that want to talk to someone one on one for extra support and for new patients who want a past patient referral. Most for the people they plan to refer are secondary IF patients but they also will refer primary too.

So excited!!! Hope this leads to other things, like My Mom said Baby Steps.

HAPP HALLOWEEN

Not my most favorite holiday but Avery loves it, pictures to come!

wednesday...

Was not the best of my days, I am not sure why it happened but it did and I have to embrace it and move on..

I was at work and at a school I go to every week, needless to say b/c I am there every week and I pretty close to one of the staff I work with. Her daughter is my age and just had a baby last Dec, we bonded alot this last year b/c I was also pregnant and yes she knew my struggles.

She tells me that she plans to retire b/c her daughter who just had the baby in Dec is pregnant again and she goes on to say to me " K is pregnant total surprise not even trying to get pregnant" my heart drops then she adds " with twins!" I held back the tears, I had to go to the bathroom after talking with her and cry, not sure what came over me. I think it was the fact that I can relate to this girl in some ways and being blindsided like that was hard to handle, I can not even imagine what it would be like to get that "surprise BFP" I am currently to not using any type of BC and my chances of getting pregnant with perfect timing is 3% then being able to keep the bay is a different story, so unfair that people have this conceiving stuff so easy, it just sucks.

I am OK with it now, was totally unsure why I reacted the way I did considering the two beautiful little girls I have.

I GOT a Response!

Remember when I wrote that letter to my RE about helping out somehow? I got a letter back which is a start. The letter was from DR. M and he said they would love for me to work with them somehow and that he will be bringing it up at the next staff meeting to see where I can be utilized. I hope this is not just a bunch of fluff. I hope he really means it.

I plan on taking Camryn in there in a few months to visits and maybe they will realize I am serious.

Call me crazy!

but I got my tickets for New M.oon! My SIL and I are going for the midnight show... We also got tickets for T.wilight before hand since they are showing them back to back and seats will be limited for those who are showing up for New M.oon!

I can not wait! I keep telling myself to not wish away those few weeks before the movie b/c that means Camryn will be on month older! I want her to stay a baby forever.

SQUEEE So excited!

New Sleeping arrangements...

After I posted about Camryn sleeping so well, she turned on me and started to get up every two hours, I could not for the life of me figure out why she was doing this... but when i would bring her into bed to feed she would fall right to sleep.

I figured it was her bassinet she was not liking. I am not ready for her to be in her own room, especially when I am breast feeding her once a night so I bought her this

Now she is back to sleeping great and so is Mommy (well when I am not checking on her) the best thing is this travel crib is adorable being almost half the size of pack n play place. I wish I would have gotten this in the first place and wish I have gotten it for all our summer trips.

Oh and she is a mover when she sleeps, which is why she needed more room.

Miss Camryn

Camryn is already 4 1/2 months! I can not believe it. She is really the perfect little girl. Here is some updates

She rolls over and finally enjoys it, before she used to cry.

She is 13 pounds, much smaller then Avery was.

She grabs for things and is so proud when she gets it.

She talks non stop, I thought Avery talked alot as a baby she is 10x more, hope this not a glimpse in the future b/c Avery talks nonstop now.

Her eyes light up at the sight of Avery

She is constantly giggling

She falls alseep around 10 PM and sleep til 3:30 am eat then returns to bed until I wake her to feed before we leave the house, love that girl! Mommy likes her sleep.

She is such a little snuggler.

I am so in love and grateful

ROBSESSED

Yes I feel like a teenage girl, but I think Rob Pattin.son is so yummy, DH caught me looking at pictures and now makes fun of me.

SURVEY

Baby makes three had this up thought I do it too! I am doing it for both girls, see if my answers are different.

AVERY

1. Were you married at the time? Yes

2. What was your reaction when you found out you were pregnant? shock for I was waiting to start fertility treatment and AF to arrive so I could go in for BW

3. How old were you? 26

4. How did you find out you were pregnant? I was 5 days late and decided to take a test just in case

5. Who did you tell first? DH

6. Did you want to find out the sex? YES - Girl

7. Due date? 12/30/05

8. Did you deliver early or late? on time 12/30/05

9. Did you have morning sickness? NOPE

10. What did you crave? Cake, BLTs, waffles anything sweet

11. What irritated you the most? people telling me my whole life will change (no shit) and that i will notlove my Doggie (pita ) as much anymore, (again not true)

12. What was your first child’s sex? Girl

13. How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy? 40

14. Did you have any complications during your pregnancy? Yes high blood pressure at the end was on bedrest for two weeks.

15. Where did you give birth? Read. ing Hospital

16. How many hours were you in labor? 20 and 2 1/2 hours of pushing

17. Who drove you to the hospital? DH

18 . Did you take medicine to ease the pain? yes but it did not work at all.. I went au natural unfortuately I do not recommend it the only thing I like is I felt GREAT after i finally had her.

19 . How much did your child weigh? 7lbs 2ozs

20 . What did you name him/her? Avery Gwen

21 . How old is your first born today? 3 1/2 years

22. Who does your child look like? Definately ME! except she has DH's eye color

23. Did you get mad at your husband during labor? Yes, once when he told me to relax toward the end before pushing, I told him to shut up.


CAMRYN
1. Were you married at the time? Yes

2. What was your reaction when you found out you were pregnant? Shock again, for I took a HPT before my eta and it said negative, so I expected the BW to also be neg.
3. How old were you? 29 when I got my BFP 30 when I had her

4. How did you find out you were pregnant? RE nurse calling me to tell me, again I did not beleive her. I even said to her are you sure?

Who did you tell first? DH

6. Did you want to find out the sex? YES

7. Due date? May 30th 2009

8. Did you deliver early or late? Again on time, on her due date of 5/30/09
9. Did you have morning sickness? waves of nausea but no real sickness

10. What did you crave? Again anything sweet mostly fruit tarts

11. What irritated you the most? no napping this time b/c of Avery decided to stop real long naps in the afternoon when I was at the stage I really needed them, no energy and of course the awary of surprise BFPs were annoying.

12. What was your second child’s sex? Girl

13. How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy? 30, much less then with Avery

14. Did you have any complications during your pregnancy? no, just some dizziness at the end.

15. Where did you give birth? Read.ing Hospital

16. How many hours were you in labor? my water broke then I started having contractions 2 hours later so i would say 9 hours, 1/2 hour pushing.

17. Who drove you to the hospital? DH

18 . Did you take medicine to ease the pain? Yes, it was sooo nice, except for the major pressure below I felt great
19 . How much did your child weigh? 8 lbs 5 oz

20 . What did you name him/her? Camryn Tam

21 . How old is your first born today? 4 months, 1 week

22. Who does your child look like? Like Avery except she resembles Mike more then Avery did, but I see alot of mysefl in her too, her hair is definately my DH

23. Did you get mad at your husband during labor? Nope smooth sailing, even my Dh commented at the end it was much better this time around.

GAP CASTING CALL

I signed the girls up, will you vote for me?? If you have your kids signed up leave your link in the comments and I will vote for your child too!

http://family.go.com/gapcastingcall/entries/pinkmommyof2/

CUTE CLOTHES FOR SALE!
I just listed some adorable clothes for both girls and boys, amoung that my favorites are the little boys clothes from the gap, mostly 3 -6 months. Just too cute.Feel free to browse my store and shop, if you purchase anything email me after your purchase and I will give you a shipping discount, just let me know you are a blog reader.Happy Shopping! www.littleladybugscloset.com

OUR PICTURES ARE UP!!!

We are Jennifer, Mike, Avery and Camryn

She did a great job can't wait to see the rest!

ENJOY!

http://brishamphotography.com/blog/

PICTURE DAY!!!!

We had our pictures this morning with MAYDAYGIRL AKA Rachel in the rain, but we made the best of it and had so much fun doing it. Rachel is so sweet and adorable. Her Mom and Brighton are just as cute as could be. It was nice to finally meet her and have our family pictures taken by such a talented photographer. All the ladies from the nest are getting together tonight and I can not go :(. Hope they all have fun! Can't wait to see the pictures, will post as soon as I see them.

Oh and Avery was such a little ham.

UPDATE! & random stuff

Thank you ladies for all the nice comments! I really appreciate it.

I am so grateful for my little babies and my wonderful (majority of the time) DH, I am so blessed. I am also grateful for all of you guys who have supported me in the last two years, I am not sure how I would have made it without you guys. It is so nice to see that the majority of the blogs I read everyone is either pregnant or have their babies and them ones who do not I am always praying for you!

Sorry to be whiny yesturday, I hate that but off days do happen.

LOVE YOU ALL!


RANDOM STUFF...

I have read all three Twilight books, I am obsessed, I even read the 264 pages of midnight sun and want her to write more of that. Craving it is a good word to use. So officially I have banned myself from reading breaking dawn (even though it is taunting me) until I get something done around my house. I am so behind in ebay and my house looks like a tornado hit, my wash is backed up and I am stressed.

Once I get back on track or ahead I plan on reading the last book and am so excited about it. I want so badly to see NewMoon now, I can not wait. I watched Twilight three time already but gave my movie to my aunt to watch and now having withdraw, what is wrong with me. I feel like a teeny bopper and Dh even made fun of me alittle.

I am hoping to get myself back in order by next weekend, b/c we are going to the beach then for the weekend.

This weekend is the photo shoot with Rachel and I can not wait to meet her and some other nesties. I unfortunately will not be able to stay for dinner but still so excited to meet everyone, even if it is just one or two of them. Pray it does not rain.

Sept 19th

Will always be on my mind. Because this is the day we found out about my BFP! I was in shock and so excited but still guarded b/c I needed to see that heart beat for me to believe it.

I am so grateful for my little girls, they are my PURPOSE in my LIFE. They make me who I am and for that I will be grateful.

OMG TWILIGHT

I am obsessed, everyone told me to read the series, I love to read but had no interest in reading it. When the movie came out it peaked my interest but still did not pick up the books.

Well on Sunday my Aunt gave me Twilight and New Moon to borrow. She basically gave me them and said here read them they are GREAT, now this is my 47 year old aunt so I thought I should read them if she liked them they must be good. I guess reading about high schoolers did not appeal to me.

I started Tuesday with Twilight and read it in 24 hours! I was hooked. I started New Moon yesterday and am almost done. I went to target and got the movie and watched it already so in the last four days I have not gotten much sleep but my obsession has started!

Working on something fun...

I am not read to reveal yet, but I have been practicing this craft and plan on revealing it soon! Maybe even market it. I am so excited about it and looking forward to sharing.

Shred Day 1 - exactly that just Day 1

Starting the SHRED again tomorrow.

YES I started it in August stopped after 3 days, got side tracked I guess or just really scared of it.

But I need to get rid of this spare tire in my belly area. YUCK!

I may do updates on my progress to keep me motivated, wish me luck.

Just praying this does not do my supply in, I have been pumping much less at work lately and that scares me. I am not ready to wean her yet.

the week gets better...

I have NOT had caffeine in over two years, while TTCing and while pregnant I stayed away. Today I was almost falling asleep at work could not keep my eyes open (remember I am not sleeping well) and I decided if I have a half of a can of coke right after I pump it should be metabolized before I pump again and it should not affect Camryn too much, do not want her wired, since she is NOT used to me drinking caffeine.

So I had my half coke and immediately I was wired so much so I was shaking, I cleaned and organized a few cabinets at work and still felt like I could go longer, but of course by the night time I was headache central. No more caffeine for a while but it does motivate me to get things done!

I am not having a good week...

I can not sleep, Camryn on the other hand (despite being sick with a cold) is sleeping like a baby no pun intended.

She has been sleeping from 9ish to 3am ish then going back to sleep until I wake her at 7:30 to eat so i can get ready for work. I on the other hand have been wide awake, so I start to read in bed and then I get so wrapped up in what I am reading I can not put it down. I have read two books this week, I started one Monday finished it Wednesday and started another Wednesday night and am half way through it.

When I do finally fall a sleep I am up every hour to check Camryn to make sure she is breathing. I am so scared lately she will stop breathing especially with the little cold she has.

I need sleep badly and do not see it happening anytime soon.

Finding myself jealous

Of pregnant people I know IRL, a lady I work with is pregnant with her first. She was gushing at lunch about being pregnant and I all of a sudden felt this all too familiar feeling of sadness and jealousy. I am so excited for her. for they tried for a year & she is AMA, but this feeling took me by surprise.

grateful for my little girls, but so sad this is probably it, no more babies.

then I started feeling like I am a huge failure b/c I can not be home with them.

1 year ago

We conceived Camryn on this day! But we did not know it yet. I was so depressed about that cycle, who knew it was actually going to work out.

LOVE HER!!!! She is the BEST!

I FINALLY DID IT!!!

I wrote and sent my letter to the RE Here it is, tell me what you think.

Dear: The Women’s Clinic Infertility Staff,

I would like to Thank You so much for helping us expand our family. We welcomed our second daughter on May 30th, 2009 and we named her Camryn. She was born not only on my due date but also on my Mom’s Birthday. She has brought so many blessings to our family in so many ways. Her big sister Avery just adores her. None of this would have been possible without your amazing staff. I always felt positive energy every time I was in your office and received nothing but support and encouragement from the staff especially from Deb and Robin.

Suffering from Secondary Infertility has been both my biggest failure and my biggest reward. During treatment I always got encouragement from your staff but also from other ladies online who were going through the same thing or had been though treatment and had successes. They were my saving grace during the process. Many people in my “real life” seemed to want to be supportive, but they did not always quite understand how treatment took both a physical and emotional toll on you. While I know my family and friends meant well I did not get the same support as I got from people who were also living it or had been through it. Some days I felt completely alone in the process.

I would have loved to speak to someone face to face that was also was either going through treatment or had gone through treatment to help me realize that what was happening was normal and get some support from them. I thought about attending some of the support groups the Hospital offered, but felt that I might not be welcomed with open arms from the ladies who were going through primary infertility because I did have a child already.

After getting pregnant I have met a few ladies who are going through treatment at your office and have supported them through their journey. Also a good friend of mine leaned on me for support while having problems getting pregnant and seeked help from your office. This all made me want to pay it forward somehow. I would love to work with your office at some capacity. If your office has a past patient referral list that new patients could talk to past patients to get some insight on what to expect and some support, I would love to be on it. I would love to help out at any informational sessions your office may put on. I am also willing to run a Secondary Infertility Support Group; I do have experience in leading support groups in my current job.
I look forward to hearing from you on how I can contribute and support others going through the process of expanding their families, because I understand what a lonely road it can be. I would like to Thank You again for the amazing gift of our little girl and I look forward to hearing from you soon

Poor Avery

Prior to finding out we needed fertility treatment we planned on taking Avery to Disney for her third Birthday (which was last Dec) anyways when we started paying for medications and appointments all the money i wanted to use for the Disney Trip went towards building our family. Which we were OK with. Thank goodness we never told Avery about the trip. We figured someday we will go. This past weekend Avery asked once again when can she go to Cinderella house. We explained to her that Cinderella lives in Disney World and we have to take a plane there and it is very expensive so we have to save some money... Well since then she took all her coins that we give her when she goes YARD SALING with us on weekends, and she tells anyone who will listen she is saving she coins for her trip to Cinderella's house, that she will soon have enough to go is Disney World. Poor Avery she is going to have a long wait for that. Unless someone wants to send us there for FREE! I do not see that happening.

QUESTION

If I follow someone's blog will I get updates via email everytime they post something new??? Or is that something else.

Please pray for this family...

www.threecheersforbabies.blogspot.com

and hug your little ones a little tighter tonight.

embrassing moment

I took my daily trip to the post office today... I went without my nursing pads in. I thought I will not need them if I keep on top of feedings. While standing in line I noticed the "lady" behind the desk looking at me funny. Normally there is a guy working but he is on vacation this week, yes I am good friends with all the people at the post office b/c I am there almost daily. The lady who was working knows me but she is a sub. I realized that she was looking at me funny b/c I was leaking! I would not have even known but as I am standing there wondering what she was looking at I felt my one breast start to tingle, looked down and was like OH NO!

Never leaving the house without nursing pads again.

that was pointless

I have been trying to eat healthy, well as healthy as possible.

I was so proud of myself when for dinner I had cocktail shrimp with tomatoes and cucumber salad in light greek dressing. All was very YUMMY.

Then I ruined it by having a hot dog. And BTW I do not even like hot dogs, but I had a craving. Plus I was still hungry...

No will power for me.

parents magazine

There is a article in the Sept Parents magazine about Secondary Infertility, just a FYI.

maybe just maybe

we might get another baby...

As you know my DH says we are not having any more children, which on one hand I am OK with on the other I am sad. I guess I just want the option even if we do have 3-5% of conceiving on our own.

Avery was telling DH the other night that when mommy has another baby... DH replied to her "only if we win the lottery" I turned to him and said "I thought we were done?" He said if we win the lottery we could pay down all our bills and be debt free and afford another child...

So I am thinking of really buckeling down and wiping out our credit card, loan and school debts and after I am done with that presenting it to him as "we are debt free - now more children"

I was planning on paying down debt to begin with but maybe this will give me some motivation to actually do it.

VISIT ME!

On Ebay!

LOTS of new items up for SALE! If you make a purchase from me I will discount your shipping $1.00 per item. When you are done shopping, email me through ebay saying you are a BLOG reader and I will update your invoice.

RECYCLE SHOP (gently) USED!

www.littleladybugscloset.com

Still thinking of doing to parenting blog...

But am not sure what I want my focus to be... I know there are blog out there that do product reviews and I have alot of products I like to share... bu8t I also want it to be inspirational and give lots of tips and such. Just do not know how to start that it is not totally mish mashy, KWIM????

So excited

My Mom are doing something this weekend I have been wanting to do for months, cooking 12 meals in one day and freezing them for a later date. I am not a huge cooker, I must be in the mood for cooking, I rather eat out. But knowing that the days I do not feel like cooking or DH does not feel like cooking I can pull a great meal out of the freezer. Plus doing all the cooking in one day sounds great plus doing all the cooking in one day sounds great to me!

If all goes well we will be doing this one a month!

My 5 year anni

Our 5 year Anniversary is coming up, I really want a ring from DH, should I hint at it or just come out and tell him...

I either want an anniversary band or a mothers ring.

Kreative Blogger Award

I was given the Kreative Blogger award from my good friend, ANDREA! Who by the way is expecting twins!!!! And my Dear Tarah who I pray for everyday to get her little miracle... check out her blog she makes lotions that look like you can eat them.

Andrea & Tarah already named a few people who I would have nominated, so I will add, Christy (challenge the future) , Melissa (so it goes), photogirl (not the path I choose) and Tracy (sell a bit mum). Sorry Ladies I do not know how to make your blogs clicky, can someone show that ot me sometime??? But all these blogs can be found to your right.

nominate 7 people + add 7 things you love.

Here are 7 things I love:

1. my daughters Avery and Camryn

2. My DH

3. My little puppy, who is already 10 (cry)

4. Shopping, any day of the week, especially for the girls.

5. artichokes (yummy)

6. seafood (double yummy)

7. vera bradley (yes I am one of those people)

my Love / Hate relationship...

With breastfeeding...

I love breastfeeding and I hate it all at the same time, but like I said before I may never get this expereince again, I want to go as long as possible.

LOVE
1. I love my cuddle time with Camryn
2. It forces me to put down what I am doing and relax with my baby. (relaxing is not my specialty)
3. Saving us $$$$
4. Night time feedings are the best, just bring her into bed with us, latch her on and do back to sleep, i am not a sound sleeper so this works for us. I feel like I am sleeping better b/c of it, except waking up to check her breathing every two hours.
5. I am the only one who can provide this for her.
6. My Boobs look GREAT!
7. I have an excuse to eat
8. I feel good knowing that i am giving her the very best

HATE
1. I can not lose weight
2. I can eat whatever I want which is dangerous. The French Pastry shop is way to close to out house.
3. planning my day around how I will feed her and finding a place where to feed her.
4. my supply sucks and sometimes we supplement with bottles.
5. I know this will not last forever which makes me sad.
6. Leaking boobs, especially when I get out of the shower
7. wish she would go longer then every 2 1/2 to 3 hours between feedings, when Avery was formula fed she would go at least 4 hours. Which is nice when you are trying to get things done. Plus you never know how long she will feed for, sometimes 15 minutes sometimes 1 hour.
8. I CAN NOT LOSE WEIGHT!!!

getting avery to clean up

is like pulling teeth... she just does not want to do it.

She threw a fit at my mom's house after my sister's baby shower and cried and cried, I think she was alos very tired and having a million people telling her what to do just does her in. Plus everyone makes comments on how she is just throwing a fit b/c of the baby, MMM... no she is three years old.

I plan on making it a game for now on, thinking of sticking a wash basket in the middle of the room and have her pout everything in there every night to be put away... Maybe this will work maybe not.

Weight loss

I did not breastfeed Avery because I couldn't. But I am loving to breastfeed Camryn, i did not think I would make it this far (GO ME!) and am so proud of myself. Every time i get frustrated I tell myself I will never have this experience again I should keep going or I will regret it.

But in the weight loss arena I suck. I am hungry all the time and who ever told you BFing causes you to lose weight also sucks. Sorry to be vulgar. But I am frustrated. I need to shed these extra pounds, I feel like a huge smushy mess.

I really want to lose weight ASAP b/c I have tow things coming up that will require pictures, we are getting Camryn Baptised and I remember looking at myself in pictures when Avery was baptised at 4 months and I look horrible. Two we are one of the lucky ones who are getting our Pictures taken my Rachel (maydaygirl) in Sept. I want to look at least not so FAT.

Any advice for me. I really do not want my supply to tank but I really need to shed something. Because right now I am hating what I look like.

2 month appt

Camryn had her 2 month appt today, I can not believe she is two months already! Time is flying.

She had her Dr appt today for her shots :( She was smiling and cooing the entire time we were at the DR, she was having such fun being all cute and everyone gashing all over her, but the nurse told her, you love me now just you wait you will change your mind. She cried for a little but as soon as I picked her up she stopped, mommy love.

Avery was good too, I wondered how she would react with Camryn getting the shots, she held her hand and had her nosy right there the whole time, she told her it would only hurt for a minute. It was so cute.

Now all Camryn wants to do is cuddle and we are find with that.

doppler for sale (SOLD)

hello all pregnant ladies...

I am selling my fetal doppler, I am kinda sad about it, b/c it means no more babies for me, for real. But wanted to offer it to my readers before I list it on ebay...

fetal pocket doppler, like they have in the dr office, used all my pregnancy, since I had an anterior placenta it helped my worrying alot...I also will include the ultrasound gel, 3/4 full. It has a digital screen, with backlight for late night checking yes I would check her at 3am. It also had volume control, to hide the sound for when DH tells you for the 15th that day to back away from the doppler b/c you just checked on her 5 mintues ago. Yes that happened

I am wiling to part with it for $85.00 + 8.95 flat fee shipping. I will wait till Friday PM to hear from anyone at jlb0017 at aol dot com (first come first serve), then I am listing it else where. I will take pay pal as payment.

thanks

Success!!!

BFing at the zoo, I so proud!

Why do YOU blog?

This question as asked of me the other day...



I recently started a BLOG for the girls to allow family and friends see what we are up to. It kinda came out when I was asked what made me think to start a blog for the girls, I said well I have my own BLOG that no one has read... then the question was asked... The person meant no harm just in my opinion curious as to why I would put my life out there and why was I interested in reading about other people's lives.

At the beginning of my If journey I began to read MAY.DAY.GIRL's Blog, mostly b/c she frequently posted on the nest and I got to know her story. One night I sat and read her Blog from the beginning... I was so impressed not only was she very candid about what she was going through she got was amazing support from her readers... I decided to start blogging b/c I wanted to start to document our journey and if someone happened to read it great if ot no problem too if they did read maybe I would get some support because I was not getting it from the people in my real life.

It felt weird at first talking about my treatment, my feelings and my days with complete strangers, but soon it became my therapy. I allowed myself to be very vulnerable in my writing and allowed these strangers to read, now I have never leaked my Blog to anyone in my real life b/c this was MY place, not even DH has read it, but he knows about it.

After a while I was getting so much support from my readers and I felt some HOPE. I started reading other peoples blog and felt connected to them. And wanted to cheer them on. I have prayed for most of my constant readers and I know they have prayed for me. I have cried tears of joy at posts who have gotten BFPs and cried tears of anger at the BFNs. On some level I feel like I KNOW these ladies personally... I mean how could you not they are spilling their life to us.

Many have become my friends and I will continue to support them all the way through parenthood.

Blogging helps me feel connected to the IF community b/c in my real life I do not get to talk about IF out loud (christy we NEED to get together).

I Blog b/c it has helped me in so many ways and have created a huge support system for me during a time I felt nothing but hopelessness.

So there it is, why I BLOG... WHY DO YOU?

Weekend...

We had a busy weekend, three birthday parties within two days... Crazy.

My BFF was decorating for her son's birthday party and broke her foot from standing on a bar stool, did I mention she is like 20 weeks pregnant! Baby is good but now she may need surgery after the baby is born.

I was determined to not give Camryn a bottle all weekend, b/c I want to BF as much as possible mainly b/c I wanted to prove to myself that I could BF in all situations, and since we would be gone most of Friday and Saturday I decided it was a perfect chance. I did great even at one point i was sitting alone on the bottom deck of my SIL house and a bunch of her friends asked if they could join me, no problem, I just kept BFing and it did not seem to bother them at all.

now I am going to the zoo with the ILs without DH tomorrow hoping BFng will go well there too.

overwhelmed...

Now this is going to turn into a whinny post bear with me...

Everyone knows I do ebay, I love it and wish I could do it full time. My ebay income is totally makes up for whatever money we need that is NOT in our budget, like stuff for the kids, when cars need inspected and vacations. I was hoping to use my ebay income to pay down some debt this year since last year almost all my ebay for at least half the year went toward fertility treatment.

Well I went back to work last week and we work on grants, I drive alot for my job and we reimbursed through my work. for mileage and wear and tear on my car, which is great b/c I drive SUV. Now my mileage money is worked into my monthly budget, it is usually the same amount every month b/c I drive to the same places every month.

So to get to the point, I have not gotten a check in a while b/c I was on maternity leave, which is fine b/c I had ebay money... I get back to work last week and learned that not only I have to still do my job and drive as normally but they will not be reimbursing mileage checks until further notice... Why you ask... B/c we work in education and our great state has not set a budget yet. Which means all educational services including school districts have not gotten their money yet for the 2009 / 2010 school years. I am grateful they are not laying people off just yet, but it might happen until this gets straightened out. People are worried and so am I.

But since I have not gotten the money I need from mileage in the last few months b/c of being off I have been using ebay money, but now that I am back to work driving like crazy, I am spending money again... Need my mileage check to cover it. This will be coming out of my ebay money... So I figured out what I needed to cover myself for the next two months in order to not rely on my mileage check and it is $1000.00 I nearly passed out. OMG how are we going to do this?

Guess I have to keep reminding myself I am grateful, grateful grateful to have my job and getting my regular pay check.

NEW BLOG NAME

Would love some suggestions!

I am thinking

Parenting Vitamins
A daily dose of advice and inspiration to parents by parents.

(to see what I am talking about page down)

Camryn Faces

Big Laugh!

















Am I suppost to smile?

Big Smile!

Sticking my tongue out at you!

One more thing, I would do giveaways drawing to people who would contribute their tips.

Thoughts?

I am thinking of starting a community blog where tips from real life moms can be posted and anyone can contribute...
when I mean tips, thing that worked for you that you can not find in the baby books... like how to get rid of cradle cap or one tip that always helped me with getting my kids to sttn, was to do everything in the dark etc... I also thought I could alsp post product reveiws from mommies & advice about tttcing etc, It would cover tttc, pregnancy & parenting, mish mosh of anything baby related
I could have people email me their advice and a new tip would be posted everyday and categoried...
Would this be something you read and contribute to?

Plus I need a catchy title.

what do you do

when both girls are napping... read blogs and message boards, when I should be doing dishes and wash.

Back to the OB...

Not for what you think ... I wish

I was there today for a u/s b/c I have been spotting red for the last few weeks and they were afraid that some of the placenta was still stuck in there. Well the verdict is my uterus was empty (sad to see) and nothing in there to cause the spotting, so they chalked it up to me breastfeeding, so I left the office and went to buy new pants and when I went into the dressing room I was MORE then spotting... It went all the way through my tan pants! Needless to say I did not get new pants and now it has stopped, maybe they moved some things around in there and I started to bleed. Sorry for the TMI post... but it was frustrating... But the u/s tech did point out I have one follie!!! A little one but it is there, no we are not planning on using that follie (not that it would happen so easily) but it was kinds bitter sweet b/c last time I saw a follie it would turn into my Camryn.

today

was not so bad I missed Camryn so much and she must have missed me too b/c while BFing her this afternoon she looked up at me and smiled, like thank god you are back. My Momsaid she was good for the time I was gone. Avery of course could have cared less if I left. I told her this morning I did not want to go to work & she told me I had to b/c she wanted to go to Gamie's house. thanks avery!

DIET

I am also starting my new breastfeeding diet tomorrow. Wish me luck.

I go back tomorrow :(

I start work tomorrow and while it is not full time (and I do alot from home), I am still very sad. Camryn has only been away from me for 2 hours total at a time. The good thing is my job is super flexible in the summer and I will be able to work around nursing. But I may end up pumping anyways. Our summer schedule is totally unpredictable. I am hoping to have the entire summer off next year, but that is still int he works.

I hope I am OK with minimal tears, I did not cry the day i went back with Avery, but this time I feel different about it, maybe working so hard to get her I do not want to leave her, luckily they will be with my mother during that time and she allows me to come and go as I need. And calls me several times during the day to tell me things going on and keep me in the loop in order to let me be in control, even though I am not there.

So please send good thoughts my way that I get through my first day. I keep reminding myself work is my break, I tell my clients that all the time when they do not want to return to school after having a baby, this will be your break We all need one.

Maybe I will hit the lotto and get to stay home so maybe I should start playing the lotto.


OK one more full day with my kiddo.

6 weeks PP check up...

I had my 6 weeks PP check up today, everyone was so excited to see Camryn and told me they would have yelled at me if I did not bring her in.. SHE WAS ANGEL UNTIL WE LEFT! Dr . P (my Fav DR) got to hold her and I even went down to my RE office afterwards, (christy I talked to robin & told her I knew you!) I also talked to them about allowing me to become a support person to those getting treatment and needed someone to talk to and maybe starting a secondary IF support group. She said to send them something in writing and that it and it was a good idea, I am really hoping to work with them...

Also while outside the RE office I gave Camryn a bottle (she needed to eat ASAP according to her) I saw a Friend of ours ( not close her DH went to HS with my DH) and we got to talking and I knew why she was at the office she we talked alittle about IF and how she has been feeling about the DX and she also has secondary IF and is totally lost and confused, we talked and at the end she told me she was so glad she ran into me b/c if was the most hopeful she felt in a long time. So glad we saw each other and I could provide some support. We exchanged emails and I am hoping she uses me as some support.

I now have to work on my letter and see what happens.

On another note I did not go on birth control, they told me to use condoms for at least a year b/c they do not like their mothers to get pregnant before the year mark, let my body heal . Dh does not want more children. So I guess after the year mark we will see what happens. I do want more. But not with treatment, so if it happens it happens if not we will be OK too. I just to do want to close my child bearing time completely. Plus DH may change his mind. WINK WINK

OH and one more thing, I am having slight red spotting and have to go for a u/s next week (and we thought we were done) just to make sure there is not something weird going on inside me... she said it could be from the BFing, anyone else have this?

FACE.BOOK

Anyone want to be FACE.BOOK Friend???

Email me your ID JLB0017@aol.com

Back from the BEACH!

Lots of pictures to come, but I realized on vacation and in a swim suit how huge I really am. I mean HELLO I just had a baby but I have only lost 15 pounds of baby and nothing since birth, I still have 15 pounds to get back to prepregnancy and 10 more of fertility treatment weight to get off. Why can I not be one of those women who just drop the pregnancy weight quickly.

I am not sure HOW I will lose it yet, I am think of counting calories and exercising a little but then we have the issue of breastfeeding and keeping my supply up, which is not great to begin with (whole other issue and will be posting soon about my love hat relationship.

I would LOVE to get a treadmill for the basement to do in the AM. But DH said just walk with the girls outside until we can afford one, b/c we are strapped for cash b/c I have been out of work for 2 months, Did I tell you I return to work next week? currently I am ignoring that fact. Anyone out there breastfeed and still drop weight, I would like to know how you did it.

I met one of my readers!

When I started this blog it was intended to allow me to vent and document my journey during treatment, I allowed myself to be very vulnerable in my writing which I am not in real life, I try to come off as having it together. When I started to get comments on what I was writing I felt that people understood my struggle and I felt comforted even though I did not know these people IRL, I felt connected to them... Of course when you have a blog like this and do not share with people IRL just the Internet world, I never thought I actually even met someone who reads my blog (my blog readers probably know more about my life them most people I know IRL - sad huh), but always secretly hoped I would meet some of the people whose blogs I read.

A few weeks before I had Camryn I connected with a Christy from http://www.challengethefuture.blogspot.com/ , she commented on a post I wrote and we realized that we live in the same area! We corresponded by email and decided we would met sometime after Camryn was born...

So here we are 1 month later and totally by coincidence she called me yesterday, but did not know it was me. She works for this company that allows parents to come test new baby products, I worked with this group when Avery was a baby and she called to see if I wanted to come in today to test another product (I am sworn to secrecy what the product is ... but it was so cool) anyways, as she is talking to me and taking my information she realizes that we know each other from reading each others blogs... OMG my jaw almost hit the ground, huge coincidence.

It was like we were meant to meet during this time, we were being put together for a reason... so I met her today and she is so amazingly nice and the crazy thing is we are so similar in our struggle with Secondary Infertility and with our lives. She joked today that her DH thought I was going to start thinking she was stalking me, but I was so excited to go today not just to test the new product but just to met her! I mean what are the chances!

I really hope that begins a great friendship between us. So glad we got to met today Christy!

OH and don't be jealous but she got to met Camryn today and even got to hold my little cupcake.

Camryn is offically ONE MONTH!

WOW the month just flew by, I can not believe my little cupcake is one month already, I just think back to what i was doing one month ago, meeting her for the first time face to face and it just makes me want to cry. I still can not believe this worked out for us, it is so surreal. I also can not believe I am so in love with two of the most perfect little girls in the world. This next year there will be alot of firsts in camryn's life, b/c the first year of their life just flies by b/c of the progress they make each day... The first of her firsts will happen this week, her little piggies will feel the sand and ocean for the first time... b/c we are headed off to the beach on Thursday... I can not wait.

So far in camryn's life...
She is starting to smile at us, Avery was giving her raspberries and she kept smiling over and over at it, I tried it and she stopped of course!!!

She is starting to realize when people are talking she will totally look at you, she watched my Dh the other day, walk away from her and she kept looking for him like she knew he will somewhere.

She is starting to know how to get her way, she has these different cries (as all babies do) but I want to be picked up is the cry we hear the most... cause when you pick her up she magically shuts it off and snuggles up to you, she is my little snuggler, (Avery also loved to snuggle)

I am looking forward to so many more first in her life and in Avery life... I could not ask for anything better.

Head over to Bella and her Fells and congratulate Andrea on her BFP!!!! WE all are praying for you Andrea!

camryn's ped appt

We had our follow up weight check today & she weight 8 lbs 11oz, so she got a high five from the Dr.

But I believe I am not producing enough for her b/c she seems hungry after some feedings within a hour, so instead of breastfeeding her I sometimes give her a bottle, nipples need a break!

never ends...

My house is a mess, my business is slowing down (my fault), I have not taken a shower yet today, I paid bills for the first time in a Month, yesterday (yes I know most was late - shhh don't tell DH) but when your 3 year old hugs you and tells you she loves you inspite of all that you just melt and realize what is important, my kids.

The fact Camryn wants to be held during all awake time is hard to say no and get things done. She is also starting to smile at us, small smiles but I like to believe it is b/c she recognizes us.

I gave my infant formula...

Then I felt guilty, it was only 1 oz. She ate today fell asleep and I was so engorged on the other side and decided to pump while she slept. We also decided to go out for lunch for Father's day so I decided I would take that pumped milk with me. Well she woke up after an hour and was screaming her head off b/c she was hungry. I decided in the heat of the moment that I would give her 1 oz of formula just to hold her off. She loved it and I took the pumped milk with me t lunch and I felt so guilty but I know it was fine.

before and after

I am not a skinny girl by any means, but it is amazing what your body can do! I can not believe my belly could stretch that much! The before shot was the day before I had Camryn and the after is 2 weeks after I had her.

Some pictures to enjoy!

feel better today...

I am on the 2 -2 1/2 hour feeding schedule now and even though I feel I am slaving at the boob, it has gone well. My Mom suggested maybe I give her one bottle of formula a day to make myself feel better that she is getting something, but after talking with DH he said why do I not pump once a day to give her a bottle, that since I am going back to work in a few weeks it might be a good idea to get her accustomed to the bottle anyways and I would know she is getting something. While both these ideas are great (did not realize my Dh was so up on info or caring about HOW I feed my DD) I am not sure if "I" am ready for the bottle or ready to pump, I hated pumping with Avery and I know I will have to pump eventually but for now I do not want to. Camryn slept her normal last night, I tried waking her up after 3 hours before having the long stretch of sleep but she was so difficult to wake up, so I let her be and we have our long stretch of sleep first then the short amount later.

I feel better about it today and THANK YOU everyone for making me feel better.

I should be straightening my house tonight for the cleaning lady to come tomorrow, it looks like a tornado hit my living room (thanks Avery) and kitchen but I am so tired today, guess I should stop reading blogs and start cleaning...

Guess it is not going as well as I thought

We had Camryn's two week appt today and she only gained 3 ozs and still is way below birth weight, she now weights 7lbs 14ozs. Now I know it is good that she gained something but the Pedi did not think it was enough... So she suggested I wake DD every 2 1/2 hours instead of every 3 and feed her during the day and allow her to sleep the 5 hour stretch at night. Camryn is a very quiet baby and seems so happy and we have to wake her to eat sometimes but I thought she was getting enough. I felt like crying right there in the room, now my Pedi I respect alot my job works closely with her with our clients so she knows me, but at one point Avery walked over to Camryn and grabbed her hand to kiss it and she told DD to be gentle with the baby it was not in a kind way (at least I thought), she did not yell at her but kind of snapped at her. I was so upset about the BFing and not gaining weight I over looked what Avery was doing, she does man handle the baby, but we always remind her that she needs to be gentle. She also commented that Avery seemed a little jealous of the baby. Which I do not see either, she always wants to help and is normally very clingy to me.

So basically I walked out of there feeling like a horrible Mom, not only my newborn is not gaining weight and that was my fault b/c I am the one giving her her nourishment but now my DD was labeled as jealous of the baby. All I wanted to do was go home cry and give my baby a bottle of formula which I did not do, I went to kmart and used a gift card to buy diapers and took both girls back to my parents (no one was home) and feed my baby until it was time to go to my work's graduation dinner again with kids in tow b.c DH was at work.

So I am going to try feeding Camryn every 2 - 2 1/2 hours and keep the formula feeding out of my mind for now.

I already miss being pregnant...

LOVE LOVE LOVE my Camryn, but already miss being pregnant. So ladies that are pregnant enjoy it b/c it goes fast.

Calling all Mommies and Mommies to be...

I was asked by several people where I got my baby wrap... Now this is something I researched and researched before I went out and bought one... as you know they can get quite expensive. I found one that I LOVE and have worn it several times already and Camryn seems to like it too...

My baby wrap is from www.raspberrybaby.etsy.com



What I like about it is that is is not confusing to put on, she sends a DVD to show you different holds, the baby is very snug in it and it is very comfy. I also like unlike other wraps that it has this panel over the front, so it looks pretty and not only holds the baby in, but you do not see any of that criss cross of fabric that is used to hold the baby in, plus it fits in my diaper bag, I have not tried feeding in it yet, but plan to try soon.

I did not think I would like the wrap so I bought a sling too.. but by far the wrap has been my favorite, maybe the sling will grow on me eventually but see myself just using the wrap for now.

Thank you Raspberry Baby!

Oh and I will get a photo of myself wearing the wrap later, hard to take any pictures of myself lately. My wrap is pink with polka dots! So cute.

Target trip...

Well this morning we woke up and Avery asked if we were going to target today... so I decided to take her. She made out like a bandit (love those $1.00 sections) and I got a few things for me, regular shirts I can nurse in!

Camryn also got her first trip to Target, but she slept in the wrap the entire time.

Teaching my child well

Every morning Avery asks "where are we going today" as you can see, we do alot of things outside the house. When I told her today we are staying home (for once) she replied "But I really want to go to TARGET" Boy I am teaching her well, guess we will go there tomorrow, since Camryn has NOT had her Target trip yet and I do need stuff. It has been over two weeks since I have been there and that is a record b/c we are usually there twice a week.

meltdown..

Avery Had her first major meltdown in public ever on Tuesday. My mom and I went to a local consignment shop to look for tiny clothes for Camryn, even though she was 8 lbs she does not fit in anything I bought her, so I got a few things just to hold us over. While there we told Avery she could have one thing, she wanted this Strawberry Shortcake game that was for 8 and up, it was sealed so I could not look in it to make sure all the pieces were there so I said NO pick something else, she was OK then when we went to check out she started in on wanting the game, she cried and screamed and was hyperventilating. I did not give in even though I felt few times I should, it got so bad that my mom took the baby out while I scooped Avery up while she is kicking and screaming to the car, she refused to walk so I carried her and she was moving around so much I am sure people saw my bar as my shirt kept creeping up. Was I embarrassed NO, she was the one who should have en embarrassed. and YES she still wants the game and it is Thursday.

Two in Tow

Our first outing alone! I took the girls out by myself yesterday, I did not doubt I could do it, but since Avery can be unpredictable in public, she is usually an angel in public, but sometimes can get our of control (that story coming tomorrow)

I took them to the post office, so show off my new little bundle, I have become very good friends with the guys behind the desk, since I am there almost everyday b/c of ebay shipments. They were even counting down the days till my due date, every time I walked in they say you have 5 days left! It was cute that two grown men were so interested in me having a baby. The post office was a success, except Avery wanted me to buy SIMPSON stamps which I did not (not sure why they have simpson stamps??)

Then we went to the grocery store. I put Camryn in my Raspberry baby wrap (see etsy.com) and she loved it, I could make it a little tighter b/c by the end of our tour of the store she was sinking lower and lower but still perfectly snug. Avery sat in the cart and of course wanted every snack on the shelf. But again she was so well behaved. It went so well! So glad to get out by myself, every where I have gone so far was with my Mom.

Update on Camryn & Hormonal issues

Camryn is the best baby, she never cries just fusses alittle when wet or hungry. She is eating like a champ even though I still worry if I am producing enough. Breastfeeding is going well and we had her tongue clipped on Friday and now it is going even better, but it is nerve wrecking not being sure if she is actually getting enough. Sometimes all she wants to do at night is cluster feed. The last three nights she has slept in 5 hour stretches which was good for mommy.

I have been feeling good too. As long as I keep myself busy I feel content, as soon as I have a minute to think about going back to work or school starting in the fall I get upset. I love my job but having a new baby in the house makes me feel like I want to be home 24/7 but that is not possible. I hold the health insurance and make half the income. Thank goodness my job is flexible and I only work 30 hours a week. Then the issue of school comes up, I actually am getting my Masters for my job, to make more money and have more time off. I do have 5-6 years left since I only take one class at a time, but I am worried it will be alot of work like last Fall, I took this past semester off b/c of being pregnant. I LOVED not having to go to class and spend time with DD and sleep. I will have to do all this plus kept my ebay business going b/c Dh and I are trying to get out of debt. I know this will be hard I just do not want my children to suffer b/c of it. I keep reminding myself I am just hormonal and it will all work out, but I just wish I had the opportunity to stay home and forget working and school and just work on my business.

Camryn's birth story...

As you all know I was having some pain on Friday, I actually did end up calling the DR b/c I did not want to go the entire weekend and not know if something was wrong, it was very deep pelvic pressure. They saw me at 2:30 and I was still 2cm, 60% effaced and they hooked me up to the monitor to see if I was having any contractions and there was nothing, flat line the entire time. My Favorite DR came in the talk to me and told me they were sending me home, but if I wanted to move my induction date I could, and I did. I could not see myself going one more week with that pain, so I gave up my Fav DR being able tot deliver me. She also made the comment that maybe my water would break over the weekend. I shot back yeah right!

So they sent me home, DH and I both decided neither of us were going to cook dinner that night, so we went out. Thanks goodness Avery was an angel at dinner b/c the entire dinner sitting in one position I was in PAIN! I could not wait to get out of there, but I had the most amazing strawberry, pecan, & goat cheese salad.

That night DH slept downstairs and Avery and I slept in my bed. I was restless all night, it did not help the dog wanted to lie up against me and when I move she would move with me, at one point she was against my back (she is only 14 pounds) and the pressure she was adding to my back felt so good.

At 4:15am I felt a POP, I was like wow my hips are moving, then I felt a trickle of warmth, I got up to check and was still in denial, I thought this happened before it is nothing, then I went to the bathroom and when I got up out it came, slowly and steadily, I woke DH and up and got in the shower, I needed a shower. I told Avery who woke in all the noise DH and I were making and told her that we were having the baby today, she smiled and said PITA IS SO EXCITED (pita is the dog)I called my Mom, who did not answer after several calls, we packed and headed out to drop Avery off at my parents and for my MOM to follow us. At this point I was still NOT having contractions. We got checked in they checked to see if I was dilated and the nurse said I was a 1cm, OK yesterday I was a 2cm. After they confirmed my water did break they moved me to Labor and Delivery and we were off.

The amazing thing is knowing that entire day not only was I going to have the baby, but on my Mother's Birthday. I started contracting on my own at 6am, they started the pitocin soon after and the contractions were horrible, I remember from my first how horrible pitocin was! I got some Nubian, b/c the pelvic pressure was horrible, that hurt more then the contractions, I also requested a epidural when I was only 3cm, I felt it work right away (not like Avery's birth where it did not work at all) So I labored while my Dh and Mom read the paper, I had the most amazing L&D nurse who stayed in the room the entire time, she was so helpful and kept everything so calm. At 11:30 they checked me and I was only at 4cm, they upped the pitocin and I cold feel the pelvic pressure with each contraction but no pain (hooray). I rested and felt so good. The only thing was the monitor was not picking up every contraction so they were concerned and wanted to put in a internal monitor, b/c it seemed Camryn's heart rate dropped alittle when I did have what appeared on the monitor a contraction. So at 1:30pm they checked me again b/c they wanted to put in the monitor, but I was already 9cm! We were all shocked, they let me go until 2:30 when the OB DR came in and told me that I could if I wanted try a few pushes and see what happens, I said OK.

SO pushed two rounds and all of a sudden I see the DR and the resident scrambling around the room and getting dressed, I looked at my Mom who was holding a leg and my DH was by my head, and she said we can see her head. She was coming faster then excepted, after a few more rounds of pushing, which was amazing, b/c I was in no pain (last time I was in such pain that I was so fixed on the pain I did not get to feel her come out I just wanted her out) and I felt her head pop through and everything come there after ... I could have not wished it to go more perfectly, even if I wrote it myself.

She came out at 3:03pm and was given to me right away, they allowed me to hold her while they checked her out (something they did not do with Avery, I only held her for 30 sec.) it was truly amazing. Let me tell you I cried and cried in sheer happiness and disbelief after all we went through to have her I could not believe she was here and how fast time truly went.

I was overwhelmed with how truly a miracle she is. Both my girls are, and I felt in love instantly, something I worried about b/c Avery is the love of my life how was I going to love another as much, and I do.

Camryn weighted 8 lbs 5oz, something else we did not expect... since I measured behind most of my pregnancy and gains so much less weight then with Avery and was carrying much smaller then Avery and Avery only weighted 7lbs 2oz. She also has hair, where she got we do not know.

The most rewarding part of this was when Avery met her sister for the first time, the look on her face was priceless and she (besides my Mom & DH ) was the first person to hold her and see her, something that was very important to us. You could tell my her face and all the kisses she was giving her she also was in love and awww of her.

Hospital stay was uneventful except all the visitors (craziness) and Camryn has some latching issues while feeding, b/c she is slightly tongue tied like Avery was but not as severely, we have an appt tomorrow with the oral surgeon who fixed Avery's to get his opinion.

Other then that, she is a quiet and perfect baby (knock on wood)

The ironic thing about all this is both my girls was were born on the 30th of the month, Avery is 12/30 Camryn 5/30 and both were born on their due dates.

I feel so blessed and happy to add her to our family.






Camryn Tam



Camryn and her hospital hat (so cute)



Avery & Mommy



Avery and her little sister



First Family Picture



Camryn & Mommy after Birth

camryn tam has arrived

Camryn is so adorable we are in love
She weighbed 8lbs 5oz born @ 303 pm
More to come!
Thanks for all your support!

she is on her way!

Water broke @ 415 in labor and delivery now! Will update later!

I have been tagged

I've been tagged, and so have you! I was tagged by Melissa as SO IT GOES

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:
1. Baby coming soon, we hope
2. maternity leave with baby
3. going to the beach over July 4th
4. Avery starting her princess dance class this summer
5. having the baby here - did I say that already
6. seeing my Dh hold his newborn daughter
7. seeing Avery's face when she sees her sister for the first time.
8. having the baby here - again very excited

8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1. straighten the house
2. worked on ebay stuff
3. looked into using a new hosting site for listing ebay stuff
4. slept - well not really rested
5. cried
6. played with DD outside for alittle - as much as my body could take
7. yelled at the dog several times for barking too much
8. read blogs

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1. Have this baby already
2. be debt free - don't we all
3. shop till I drop
4. sleeping through the night
5. drink some wine - it will be a long time before that happens
6. drop all my pregnancy weight before I walk out of the hospital - yeah right
7. get motivated to learn a new program for ebaying.
8. Have this baby - again very important

8 Shows I Watch:
1. grey's anatomy
2. ghost hunters
3. jon & kate + 8 (they live 5 minutes from me - how can I not watch)
4. deliver me (even though it is starting to frustrate me)
5. dancing with the stars
6. friends re runs
7. Reggis and Kelly
8. the news (all the time)

8 Favorite Fruits:
1. watermelon
2. strawberries
3. mango's
4. blueberries
5. pineapple
6. raspberries
7. oranges
8. bananas

8 Places I'd Like to Travel:
1. Disney - want to takes DD there so badly.
2. California
3. key west
4. NY, NY and stay for more then one day
5. go on a cruise somewhere
6. Jamaica
7. Italy
8. new Orleans

8 Places I've Lived:
1. Just here in PA

8 People I've tagged:
1. andrea
2. tarah
3. lanie
4. christy

1 day and ready to cry!

I am not sleeping well, I get maybe 1-2 hours then I am up to pee or in pain. My pain is not from contractions, but every time I get crampy I think "is this it" Nope it goes away as fast as it comes, but the pain I have is from my pubic bone area, it hurts 100% of the time. Dh says I should call them and let them know, now I know second time Moms tend to get this pain, but it is so bad sometimes, last night to check email I had to sit on the chair backwards, just to take some pressure off and to be honest the only position that takes the pain away is being on all fours, but I can not be in that position all day long.

I do not think they will do anything for me, I am not having contractions. Just crampiness and achiness. I thought about calling and having them move my induction up to Monday, b/c my induction is not until 6/5 and it seems so far away to be having this pain and pressure for the next week. But will they move me, probably not.

I am also getting bitter about watching discovery health and TLC and seeing everyone have their babies, now I just cry that here I sit waiting. I also feel guilty b/c I could have probably worked last week and saved some vacation time for after the baby arrives, but nothing I can do about that now. We all thought I would be early.

Sorry to complain, I actually am surprised by the fact that I am complaining b/c I love being pregnant, but the thought of this pain going on for another week makes me so frustrated.

That gets to the next thing.. YES I do think I am no where close to having her... every one says that they have contracions for at least two days before the real thing happened, since I have had nothing in the last 24 hours I do not see myself having her anytime this weekend. It makes me want to cry.

I had no contractions leading up to Avery's birth and once again I have nothing. With Avery she was born on her due date, so this was the day iI was induced with her. It sucks to wait but I guess I waited much longer to get pregnant I can wait a few more days.

I am torn if I want to call the DR and tell them about the pressure b/c I feel like they are going to tell me to deal with it it will be fine.

Any advice for me?