Camryn is offically ONE MONTH!

WOW the month just flew by, I can not believe my little cupcake is one month already, I just think back to what i was doing one month ago, meeting her for the first time face to face and it just makes me want to cry. I still can not believe this worked out for us, it is so surreal. I also can not believe I am so in love with two of the most perfect little girls in the world. This next year there will be alot of firsts in camryn's life, b/c the first year of their life just flies by b/c of the progress they make each day... The first of her firsts will happen this week, her little piggies will feel the sand and ocean for the first time... b/c we are headed off to the beach on Thursday... I can not wait.

So far in camryn's life...
She is starting to smile at us, Avery was giving her raspberries and she kept smiling over and over at it, I tried it and she stopped of course!!!

She is starting to realize when people are talking she will totally look at you, she watched my Dh the other day, walk away from her and she kept looking for him like she knew he will somewhere.

She is starting to know how to get her way, she has these different cries (as all babies do) but I want to be picked up is the cry we hear the most... cause when you pick her up she magically shuts it off and snuggles up to you, she is my little snuggler, (Avery also loved to snuggle)

I am looking forward to so many more first in her life and in Avery life... I could not ask for anything better.

Head over to Bella and her Fells and congratulate Andrea on her BFP!!!! WE all are praying for you Andrea!

camryn's ped appt

We had our follow up weight check today & she weight 8 lbs 11oz, so she got a high five from the Dr.

But I believe I am not producing enough for her b/c she seems hungry after some feedings within a hour, so instead of breastfeeding her I sometimes give her a bottle, nipples need a break!

never ends...

My house is a mess, my business is slowing down (my fault), I have not taken a shower yet today, I paid bills for the first time in a Month, yesterday (yes I know most was late - shhh don't tell DH) but when your 3 year old hugs you and tells you she loves you inspite of all that you just melt and realize what is important, my kids.

The fact Camryn wants to be held during all awake time is hard to say no and get things done. She is also starting to smile at us, small smiles but I like to believe it is b/c she recognizes us.

I gave my infant formula...

Then I felt guilty, it was only 1 oz. She ate today fell asleep and I was so engorged on the other side and decided to pump while she slept. We also decided to go out for lunch for Father's day so I decided I would take that pumped milk with me. Well she woke up after an hour and was screaming her head off b/c she was hungry. I decided in the heat of the moment that I would give her 1 oz of formula just to hold her off. She loved it and I took the pumped milk with me t lunch and I felt so guilty but I know it was fine.

before and after

I am not a skinny girl by any means, but it is amazing what your body can do! I can not believe my belly could stretch that much! The before shot was the day before I had Camryn and the after is 2 weeks after I had her.

Some pictures to enjoy!

feel better today...

I am on the 2 -2 1/2 hour feeding schedule now and even though I feel I am slaving at the boob, it has gone well. My Mom suggested maybe I give her one bottle of formula a day to make myself feel better that she is getting something, but after talking with DH he said why do I not pump once a day to give her a bottle, that since I am going back to work in a few weeks it might be a good idea to get her accustomed to the bottle anyways and I would know she is getting something. While both these ideas are great (did not realize my Dh was so up on info or caring about HOW I feed my DD) I am not sure if "I" am ready for the bottle or ready to pump, I hated pumping with Avery and I know I will have to pump eventually but for now I do not want to. Camryn slept her normal last night, I tried waking her up after 3 hours before having the long stretch of sleep but she was so difficult to wake up, so I let her be and we have our long stretch of sleep first then the short amount later.

I feel better about it today and THANK YOU everyone for making me feel better.

I should be straightening my house tonight for the cleaning lady to come tomorrow, it looks like a tornado hit my living room (thanks Avery) and kitchen but I am so tired today, guess I should stop reading blogs and start cleaning...

Guess it is not going as well as I thought

We had Camryn's two week appt today and she only gained 3 ozs and still is way below birth weight, she now weights 7lbs 14ozs. Now I know it is good that she gained something but the Pedi did not think it was enough... So she suggested I wake DD every 2 1/2 hours instead of every 3 and feed her during the day and allow her to sleep the 5 hour stretch at night. Camryn is a very quiet baby and seems so happy and we have to wake her to eat sometimes but I thought she was getting enough. I felt like crying right there in the room, now my Pedi I respect alot my job works closely with her with our clients so she knows me, but at one point Avery walked over to Camryn and grabbed her hand to kiss it and she told DD to be gentle with the baby it was not in a kind way (at least I thought), she did not yell at her but kind of snapped at her. I was so upset about the BFing and not gaining weight I over looked what Avery was doing, she does man handle the baby, but we always remind her that she needs to be gentle. She also commented that Avery seemed a little jealous of the baby. Which I do not see either, she always wants to help and is normally very clingy to me.

So basically I walked out of there feeling like a horrible Mom, not only my newborn is not gaining weight and that was my fault b/c I am the one giving her her nourishment but now my DD was labeled as jealous of the baby. All I wanted to do was go home cry and give my baby a bottle of formula which I did not do, I went to kmart and used a gift card to buy diapers and took both girls back to my parents (no one was home) and feed my baby until it was time to go to my work's graduation dinner again with kids in tow b.c DH was at work.

So I am going to try feeding Camryn every 2 - 2 1/2 hours and keep the formula feeding out of my mind for now.

I already miss being pregnant...

LOVE LOVE LOVE my Camryn, but already miss being pregnant. So ladies that are pregnant enjoy it b/c it goes fast.

Calling all Mommies and Mommies to be...

I was asked by several people where I got my baby wrap... Now this is something I researched and researched before I went out and bought one... as you know they can get quite expensive. I found one that I LOVE and have worn it several times already and Camryn seems to like it too...

My baby wrap is from www.raspberrybaby.etsy.com



What I like about it is that is is not confusing to put on, she sends a DVD to show you different holds, the baby is very snug in it and it is very comfy. I also like unlike other wraps that it has this panel over the front, so it looks pretty and not only holds the baby in, but you do not see any of that criss cross of fabric that is used to hold the baby in, plus it fits in my diaper bag, I have not tried feeding in it yet, but plan to try soon.

I did not think I would like the wrap so I bought a sling too.. but by far the wrap has been my favorite, maybe the sling will grow on me eventually but see myself just using the wrap for now.

Thank you Raspberry Baby!

Oh and I will get a photo of myself wearing the wrap later, hard to take any pictures of myself lately. My wrap is pink with polka dots! So cute.

Target trip...

Well this morning we woke up and Avery asked if we were going to target today... so I decided to take her. She made out like a bandit (love those $1.00 sections) and I got a few things for me, regular shirts I can nurse in!

Camryn also got her first trip to Target, but she slept in the wrap the entire time.

Teaching my child well

Every morning Avery asks "where are we going today" as you can see, we do alot of things outside the house. When I told her today we are staying home (for once) she replied "But I really want to go to TARGET" Boy I am teaching her well, guess we will go there tomorrow, since Camryn has NOT had her Target trip yet and I do need stuff. It has been over two weeks since I have been there and that is a record b/c we are usually there twice a week.

meltdown..

Avery Had her first major meltdown in public ever on Tuesday. My mom and I went to a local consignment shop to look for tiny clothes for Camryn, even though she was 8 lbs she does not fit in anything I bought her, so I got a few things just to hold us over. While there we told Avery she could have one thing, she wanted this Strawberry Shortcake game that was for 8 and up, it was sealed so I could not look in it to make sure all the pieces were there so I said NO pick something else, she was OK then when we went to check out she started in on wanting the game, she cried and screamed and was hyperventilating. I did not give in even though I felt few times I should, it got so bad that my mom took the baby out while I scooped Avery up while she is kicking and screaming to the car, she refused to walk so I carried her and she was moving around so much I am sure people saw my bar as my shirt kept creeping up. Was I embarrassed NO, she was the one who should have en embarrassed. and YES she still wants the game and it is Thursday.

Two in Tow

Our first outing alone! I took the girls out by myself yesterday, I did not doubt I could do it, but since Avery can be unpredictable in public, she is usually an angel in public, but sometimes can get our of control (that story coming tomorrow)

I took them to the post office, so show off my new little bundle, I have become very good friends with the guys behind the desk, since I am there almost everyday b/c of ebay shipments. They were even counting down the days till my due date, every time I walked in they say you have 5 days left! It was cute that two grown men were so interested in me having a baby. The post office was a success, except Avery wanted me to buy SIMPSON stamps which I did not (not sure why they have simpson stamps??)

Then we went to the grocery store. I put Camryn in my Raspberry baby wrap (see etsy.com) and she loved it, I could make it a little tighter b/c by the end of our tour of the store she was sinking lower and lower but still perfectly snug. Avery sat in the cart and of course wanted every snack on the shelf. But again she was so well behaved. It went so well! So glad to get out by myself, every where I have gone so far was with my Mom.

Update on Camryn & Hormonal issues

Camryn is the best baby, she never cries just fusses alittle when wet or hungry. She is eating like a champ even though I still worry if I am producing enough. Breastfeeding is going well and we had her tongue clipped on Friday and now it is going even better, but it is nerve wrecking not being sure if she is actually getting enough. Sometimes all she wants to do at night is cluster feed. The last three nights she has slept in 5 hour stretches which was good for mommy.

I have been feeling good too. As long as I keep myself busy I feel content, as soon as I have a minute to think about going back to work or school starting in the fall I get upset. I love my job but having a new baby in the house makes me feel like I want to be home 24/7 but that is not possible. I hold the health insurance and make half the income. Thank goodness my job is flexible and I only work 30 hours a week. Then the issue of school comes up, I actually am getting my Masters for my job, to make more money and have more time off. I do have 5-6 years left since I only take one class at a time, but I am worried it will be alot of work like last Fall, I took this past semester off b/c of being pregnant. I LOVED not having to go to class and spend time with DD and sleep. I will have to do all this plus kept my ebay business going b/c Dh and I are trying to get out of debt. I know this will be hard I just do not want my children to suffer b/c of it. I keep reminding myself I am just hormonal and it will all work out, but I just wish I had the opportunity to stay home and forget working and school and just work on my business.

Camryn's birth story...

As you all know I was having some pain on Friday, I actually did end up calling the DR b/c I did not want to go the entire weekend and not know if something was wrong, it was very deep pelvic pressure. They saw me at 2:30 and I was still 2cm, 60% effaced and they hooked me up to the monitor to see if I was having any contractions and there was nothing, flat line the entire time. My Favorite DR came in the talk to me and told me they were sending me home, but if I wanted to move my induction date I could, and I did. I could not see myself going one more week with that pain, so I gave up my Fav DR being able tot deliver me. She also made the comment that maybe my water would break over the weekend. I shot back yeah right!

So they sent me home, DH and I both decided neither of us were going to cook dinner that night, so we went out. Thanks goodness Avery was an angel at dinner b/c the entire dinner sitting in one position I was in PAIN! I could not wait to get out of there, but I had the most amazing strawberry, pecan, & goat cheese salad.

That night DH slept downstairs and Avery and I slept in my bed. I was restless all night, it did not help the dog wanted to lie up against me and when I move she would move with me, at one point she was against my back (she is only 14 pounds) and the pressure she was adding to my back felt so good.

At 4:15am I felt a POP, I was like wow my hips are moving, then I felt a trickle of warmth, I got up to check and was still in denial, I thought this happened before it is nothing, then I went to the bathroom and when I got up out it came, slowly and steadily, I woke DH and up and got in the shower, I needed a shower. I told Avery who woke in all the noise DH and I were making and told her that we were having the baby today, she smiled and said PITA IS SO EXCITED (pita is the dog)I called my Mom, who did not answer after several calls, we packed and headed out to drop Avery off at my parents and for my MOM to follow us. At this point I was still NOT having contractions. We got checked in they checked to see if I was dilated and the nurse said I was a 1cm, OK yesterday I was a 2cm. After they confirmed my water did break they moved me to Labor and Delivery and we were off.

The amazing thing is knowing that entire day not only was I going to have the baby, but on my Mother's Birthday. I started contracting on my own at 6am, they started the pitocin soon after and the contractions were horrible, I remember from my first how horrible pitocin was! I got some Nubian, b/c the pelvic pressure was horrible, that hurt more then the contractions, I also requested a epidural when I was only 3cm, I felt it work right away (not like Avery's birth where it did not work at all) So I labored while my Dh and Mom read the paper, I had the most amazing L&D nurse who stayed in the room the entire time, she was so helpful and kept everything so calm. At 11:30 they checked me and I was only at 4cm, they upped the pitocin and I cold feel the pelvic pressure with each contraction but no pain (hooray). I rested and felt so good. The only thing was the monitor was not picking up every contraction so they were concerned and wanted to put in a internal monitor, b/c it seemed Camryn's heart rate dropped alittle when I did have what appeared on the monitor a contraction. So at 1:30pm they checked me again b/c they wanted to put in the monitor, but I was already 9cm! We were all shocked, they let me go until 2:30 when the OB DR came in and told me that I could if I wanted try a few pushes and see what happens, I said OK.

SO pushed two rounds and all of a sudden I see the DR and the resident scrambling around the room and getting dressed, I looked at my Mom who was holding a leg and my DH was by my head, and she said we can see her head. She was coming faster then excepted, after a few more rounds of pushing, which was amazing, b/c I was in no pain (last time I was in such pain that I was so fixed on the pain I did not get to feel her come out I just wanted her out) and I felt her head pop through and everything come there after ... I could have not wished it to go more perfectly, even if I wrote it myself.

She came out at 3:03pm and was given to me right away, they allowed me to hold her while they checked her out (something they did not do with Avery, I only held her for 30 sec.) it was truly amazing. Let me tell you I cried and cried in sheer happiness and disbelief after all we went through to have her I could not believe she was here and how fast time truly went.

I was overwhelmed with how truly a miracle she is. Both my girls are, and I felt in love instantly, something I worried about b/c Avery is the love of my life how was I going to love another as much, and I do.

Camryn weighted 8 lbs 5oz, something else we did not expect... since I measured behind most of my pregnancy and gains so much less weight then with Avery and was carrying much smaller then Avery and Avery only weighted 7lbs 2oz. She also has hair, where she got we do not know.

The most rewarding part of this was when Avery met her sister for the first time, the look on her face was priceless and she (besides my Mom & DH ) was the first person to hold her and see her, something that was very important to us. You could tell my her face and all the kisses she was giving her she also was in love and awww of her.

Hospital stay was uneventful except all the visitors (craziness) and Camryn has some latching issues while feeding, b/c she is slightly tongue tied like Avery was but not as severely, we have an appt tomorrow with the oral surgeon who fixed Avery's to get his opinion.

Other then that, she is a quiet and perfect baby (knock on wood)

The ironic thing about all this is both my girls was were born on the 30th of the month, Avery is 12/30 Camryn 5/30 and both were born on their due dates.

I feel so blessed and happy to add her to our family.






Camryn Tam



Camryn and her hospital hat (so cute)



Avery & Mommy



Avery and her little sister



First Family Picture



Camryn & Mommy after Birth