I Peed on a Stick, I know stupid. It of course was negative. I knew this going in, but again that glimmer of HOPE creeped in. I am currently 11DPO and it was a stark white area.
While I feel very sad about it and frustrated I do have to move onto another medicated cycle, I am sorts relieved b/c now I know and can try to be a peace with it.
TTCing is so disappointing.
Showing posts with label HPT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HPT. Show all posts
Thursday, May 22, 2008
When HOPE fizzles out
I had slight hope yesturday with my slight spotting. But I convinced myself it had to be from the sex. Then this morning I checked my cervix and it was high, I thought, maybe? then said there is no way I could be pregnant my progestrone was low and that makes all my hope fall apart. I hate this waiting game. I wish Sunday was here so AF would start and I can move on to my medicated cycle.
I feel like I live my life on pins and needles 24/7, am I? No I can not be? The back and forth just makes time slow down and hope start to disappear.
I do not plan on taking a HPT with me on vacation, just tampons and pads. Maybe AF will not come, but I will be prepared. Being on vacation this weekend will also help in not testing, b/c my Mom will be there, even though she knows AF is to arrive on Sunday. If it doesn't she will probably go out and buy me a test. She told my hairdresser on Monday (after the hairdresser commented that my hair was curlier then normal) that I was probably pregnant, to which I gave her the look of don't go there. Even though I truly hope I am, but probably not.
When I was pregnant with DD, I had no symptoms and convinced myself I was not pregnant. When I took the test I felt a sense of relief and excitement. I want that feeling again.
Again this time I have no symptoms, but then again it is early I am only 11DPO. I always get cramps from O day on and I had none up until last night, when I was lying in bed and felt then start. Which again made hope fizzle out. I started feeling slight cramps today too. Also I am tired, but I always am tired so I can never count that as a symptom.
Sorry to ramble, just woke up this morning with that feeling of MAYBE - to have it quickly fizzle out when I justify why those things are happening or not happening.
I feel like I live my life on pins and needles 24/7, am I? No I can not be? The back and forth just makes time slow down and hope start to disappear.
I do not plan on taking a HPT with me on vacation, just tampons and pads. Maybe AF will not come, but I will be prepared. Being on vacation this weekend will also help in not testing, b/c my Mom will be there, even though she knows AF is to arrive on Sunday. If it doesn't she will probably go out and buy me a test. She told my hairdresser on Monday (after the hairdresser commented that my hair was curlier then normal) that I was probably pregnant, to which I gave her the look of don't go there. Even though I truly hope I am, but probably not.
When I was pregnant with DD, I had no symptoms and convinced myself I was not pregnant. When I took the test I felt a sense of relief and excitement. I want that feeling again.
Again this time I have no symptoms, but then again it is early I am only 11DPO. I always get cramps from O day on and I had none up until last night, when I was lying in bed and felt then start. Which again made hope fizzle out. I started feeling slight cramps today too. Also I am tired, but I always am tired so I can never count that as a symptom.
Sorry to ramble, just woke up this morning with that feeling of MAYBE - to have it quickly fizzle out when I justify why those things are happening or not happening.
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