Secondary Infertility Ladies...

I just read this book called THE WAITING WOMB by Jill Sayre. I highly recommend it. The author also had suffered through secondary infertility, but it is a STORY but some of what is in the book may have been her experience, not sure. Here is a part that I felt spoke to me personally.

" Yes I did have a beautiful and healthy 4 year old son. I dared not forget to be grateful for that, because everyone seemed to feel at liberty to keep reminding me about it. "I am grateful" I wanted to scream at them. Truly I was grateful. But having tasted the sweet experience of being a mother, I wanted more. Those who had never found themselves in this maddening situation had no understanding of what it is like. Secondary Infertility was just as painful as not being able to conceive the first time. In some ways it was actually worst the second time, because you knew what you were missing."

I cried when I read this. Because I know what this is like. I miss having a tiny baby in the house. I know what I am missing in the miracle of pregnancy and feeling so in love with something. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my daughter and am so grateful for her. She truly is the love of my life. But that does not mean I do not crave more.

RESENTMENT

Not sure what brought this feeling on, maybe it was while we were at a picnic yesturday and everyone was telling us we need to have another baby (if they only knew) or that today I will see my Aunt for the first time since she announced she was pregnant (I am very happy for them, for the record) but I felt a wave of RESENTMENT today.

A few things that I resent...

1. People getting pregnant on the first few tries...
2. People having BFP accidents...
3. People thinking it is so easy to get pregnant...
4. People who PAY OUT nothing to have a child (damn health insurance coverage who covers NOTHING) *I am not talking about those with IF coverage but those who do not know the pain of IF can bring financially...
5. People taking their pregnancy for granted and not treating as a miracle...
6. People who complain about being pregnant (I never complained once while pregnant with my daughter - I was way to happy to be pregnant - feel free to bring on the morning sickness)...
7. People who tell you to "relax" and you will get pregnant...
8. People who do not understand what IF couples go through to get pregnant...
9. People who never ask how you are holding up while living in this life called INFERITILTY...
10. People who do not understand Secondary Inferility is just as painful as primary inferility and just because you have one child does not mean you are not infertile...

FEEL FREE TO ADD MORE...