that made my day...

The RE nurse did not call me until 3:30pm, they usually call around 1:30pm so of course my impatience took over and I started to worry there was something was wrong...

Well my FSH level was 7.5! They said that was good and to start clomid on Sunday and I will still be doing 3 shots, trigger before Oing, 2 boosters on 6DPO and 9DPO.

So maybe JULY can be OUR month! Because I was so wrong about June being our month!

what a day of almost tears...

Today was going well, I am still nervous about my FSH b/w tomorrow. I think this is my worst fear, my eggs being poor quality b/c I waited too long. I only have 1/2 the normal eggs to begin with, because of only having one ovary. I am mad at my ovary for giving up on me, produce more hormones dammit! I pray my FSH test comes back fine and we just have to deal with getting my progestrone and estrogen back to normal after I O. Please let that be the only problem.

I was almost in tears today... but since I was in public I could not cry. I go to work everyday and see cleints who are either pregnant or parenting and are teenagers and I never get upset, maybe after 8 years I am immune Yesturday (the day AF started) I held two babies who were only both a little bit over a month old, I never got sad, just alittle "woe is me".

Now today I went to the salon b/c I needed a hair cut, my hair was growing out in weird way and I could no longer wait for July 14th at my normal appointment. Thank goodness my stylist could get my in. So DD and I went to get our hair cut (her just a bang trim) and we were waiting in our seats having a good old time when a employee came in with her two little girls ( one was born after DD and the other just 3 weeks old) of course she sat the car seat with the baby in it next to my seat to talk to one of the stylists. DD of course pointed at the baby and got all excited... Here is how the convo went...

DD: Cute baby MAMA
Me: yes she is
DD: I like the baby
Me: do you
DD: yes, can we have the baby
Me: no she belongs to her Mommy and she would miss her mommy
DD: Can you get me a baby?
Me Maybe someday
DD: I want Mommy to have a baby too.
Me: me too (tears were forming)
DD: I like that baby
Hairdresser: ladies it is your turn
Me: (saved)

Now I know my 2 1/2 year old does not understand about where babies come from and in her mind she probably thinks we just go buy one, but the fact she loves babies and wants to bring one home with us, breaks my heart. I pray she will be a big sister someday, because she would make a GREAT big sister. I just hope we are not both broken hearted in the process.