Confession #2

I think I may want a 3rd child. Being towards the end of my pregnancy I all of a sudden have become sad this is it for us. I have always wanted three children but after going through IF and praying for just one more perfectly healthy child. I feel like if I try for #3 I would be tempting fate.

On the other hand DH does not want another one, He says two is enough... Plus I would not want to do treatment again since it had taken over my mind, body and soul If we would do a third I would want it to happen naturally which for us is just a 3% chance of doing it on our own. But my desire to have a third is still there. Guess we will see how this plays out...

I do not plan on going back on Birth Control, 1. b/c what is the point 2. because it makes me gain weight like crazy. The only reason I would have to be on it is if my ovary starts to act up. I do not want to get my tube tied or remove my last ovary because if something ever happened to DH I would want to option of having more children with someone else, if I would marry again (I know morbid to think about that). DH goes not want to get the big V, he said NO WAY, he has anxiety over DRs and hospital, he will not go unless he has to normally, can you imagine the basket case he would be if he went in for the BIG V. I would never pull an accident on him, b/c I do not want to be dishonest to him, but I was very upfront with him that no BC for me or tube tying, he too said no big v for him and for us condoms always get forgotten in the moment. Maybe that is why all those years of unprotected sex during our dating days never ended in something, I would always skip pills... b/c I was young and stupid.

So in reality if we got pregnant on our own if would be an accident. Which in our book never would happen. But if DH came to me later on and said lets do this gain, I would seriously consider treatment again. Yes I would b/c my desire to have another is pretty strong some days.

Shhh, don't tell my DH b/c he also thinks I am over this too.