OMG TWILIGHT

I am obsessed, everyone told me to read the series, I love to read but had no interest in reading it. When the movie came out it peaked my interest but still did not pick up the books.

Well on Sunday my Aunt gave me Twilight and New Moon to borrow. She basically gave me them and said here read them they are GREAT, now this is my 47 year old aunt so I thought I should read them if she liked them they must be good. I guess reading about high schoolers did not appeal to me.

I started Tuesday with Twilight and read it in 24 hours! I was hooked. I started New Moon yesterday and am almost done. I went to target and got the movie and watched it already so in the last four days I have not gotten much sleep but my obsession has started!

Working on something fun...

I am not read to reveal yet, but I have been practicing this craft and plan on revealing it soon! Maybe even market it. I am so excited about it and looking forward to sharing.

Shred Day 1 - exactly that just Day 1

Starting the SHRED again tomorrow.

YES I started it in August stopped after 3 days, got side tracked I guess or just really scared of it.

But I need to get rid of this spare tire in my belly area. YUCK!

I may do updates on my progress to keep me motivated, wish me luck.

Just praying this does not do my supply in, I have been pumping much less at work lately and that scares me. I am not ready to wean her yet.

the week gets better...

I have NOT had caffeine in over two years, while TTCing and while pregnant I stayed away. Today I was almost falling asleep at work could not keep my eyes open (remember I am not sleeping well) and I decided if I have a half of a can of coke right after I pump it should be metabolized before I pump again and it should not affect Camryn too much, do not want her wired, since she is NOT used to me drinking caffeine.

So I had my half coke and immediately I was wired so much so I was shaking, I cleaned and organized a few cabinets at work and still felt like I could go longer, but of course by the night time I was headache central. No more caffeine for a while but it does motivate me to get things done!

I am not having a good week...

I can not sleep, Camryn on the other hand (despite being sick with a cold) is sleeping like a baby no pun intended.

She has been sleeping from 9ish to 3am ish then going back to sleep until I wake her at 7:30 to eat so i can get ready for work. I on the other hand have been wide awake, so I start to read in bed and then I get so wrapped up in what I am reading I can not put it down. I have read two books this week, I started one Monday finished it Wednesday and started another Wednesday night and am half way through it.

When I do finally fall a sleep I am up every hour to check Camryn to make sure she is breathing. I am so scared lately she will stop breathing especially with the little cold she has.

I need sleep badly and do not see it happening anytime soon.

Finding myself jealous

Of pregnant people I know IRL, a lady I work with is pregnant with her first. She was gushing at lunch about being pregnant and I all of a sudden felt this all too familiar feeling of sadness and jealousy. I am so excited for her. for they tried for a year & she is AMA, but this feeling took me by surprise.

grateful for my little girls, but so sad this is probably it, no more babies.

then I started feeling like I am a huge failure b/c I can not be home with them.

1 year ago

We conceived Camryn on this day! But we did not know it yet. I was so depressed about that cycle, who knew it was actually going to work out.

LOVE HER!!!! She is the BEST!