about venting about my DH.
He got home from his second job and gave me a hug and I said with tears in my eyes, "I just really want a baby" he said "I know, it will all work itself out"
Which I know it will, TTCing especially with IF thrown in there is just so stressful.
Showing posts with label DH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DH. Show all posts
Monday, July 7, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
DH and I
My DH is the most supportive person in the world. Like I have said he puts up with me. I am a TYPE A personally and need to be in control of everything, while DH is TYPE B so laid back and does not worry until it happens. (did I get the TYPE A and TYPE B right?) Sometimes I wish I was more like DH, I worry about everything and I am a huge planner, I already have my future kids names picked out, what theme I will do for them, how I will handle two at once, how we will tell our parents and how I will rearrange my house to accommodate two children. DH hates when I talk about these things, b/c this means he has to think into the future. I sometimes talk about future kids and find he talking right along until he realizes I have sucked him into my world, the world of goals and plans.
I was telling him last night at dinner my plans for if we have to start paying for treatment (hoping that will not happen) and where we could potentially get the money. He just nodded and did not answer me, but I knew he was listening. He did not argue about money like he usually does. While I know in the back of my mind when it does actually happen it is going to be hard to get him to agree, he would rather spend the money to take DD on big vacations and build his dream house (all things I would like to do too) but gorwing our family is # 1 right now. He says he DOES want more children but believes it will happen on its own. I think until it becomes a huge problem that involves him he will not agree to procedures up front. Again Dh is not a planner, his motto is when it happens we can worry then.
So for this cycle I am doing what my DR says and praying for a little baby to be placed in my uterus and go with the flow. I took last cycle very hard. I do not want to do that again. Feeling that depressed is not good for me, DD or my marriage. Pray for me, b/c sometimes it feels like I have lost all HOPE. But I truly want this to happen for us, I want that family of four. I want DD is to be a BIG SISTER. I want to have a baby in the house, up all night doing feedings and diaper changes. I crave it. Will this ever happen. Guess time will tell, but I hope it is sooner rather then later.
I was telling him last night at dinner my plans for if we have to start paying for treatment (hoping that will not happen) and where we could potentially get the money. He just nodded and did not answer me, but I knew he was listening. He did not argue about money like he usually does. While I know in the back of my mind when it does actually happen it is going to be hard to get him to agree, he would rather spend the money to take DD on big vacations and build his dream house (all things I would like to do too) but gorwing our family is # 1 right now. He says he DOES want more children but believes it will happen on its own. I think until it becomes a huge problem that involves him he will not agree to procedures up front. Again Dh is not a planner, his motto is when it happens we can worry then.
So for this cycle I am doing what my DR says and praying for a little baby to be placed in my uterus and go with the flow. I took last cycle very hard. I do not want to do that again. Feeling that depressed is not good for me, DD or my marriage. Pray for me, b/c sometimes it feels like I have lost all HOPE. But I truly want this to happen for us, I want that family of four. I want DD is to be a BIG SISTER. I want to have a baby in the house, up all night doing feedings and diaper changes. I crave it. Will this ever happen. Guess time will tell, but I hope it is sooner rather then later.
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