BETA #2 IN!!!

It was 442!!! My P4 stayed the same. I go in next Monday for a u/s, she told me not to expect to see anything, like a heart beat, but they are just checking to make sure the baby implanted itself at the right place and that it is growing. Then I would come back in 10 days for another u/s. I can not believe this is happening!!

It took the nurse until 2:15 to call me, they always call between 1-1:30pm so I got a little worried and thought it was bad news b/c it took so long. When she told me the number I let out a huge sigh of relief. I know we are not in the clear yet, but I am hoping a praying for a healthy sticky little baby and a healthy pregnany. PLease ocntinue to pray for us. I appericate it more then anything.

I do not want to get too excited over this. But I am excited!!!! We plan to tell no one until we hear a heartbeat, my Mom, sister, Dad and Aunt all know. I am not sure how I will keep this a secret from the ILs b/c we are going to Hershey Park on Sunday with them, and I can not ride anything, well maybe the carosel. It is going to be hard to hide it.

Still in Shock...

All yesturday I would not allow DH to talk about it. I am afraid we are going to jinx it. I did tell my Mom who told me I had to tell my sister, she did not react. I felt for a few seconds yesturday after telling her that being pregnant with her is going to drive me crazy.

I cleaned all day yesturday (my house has not been scrubbed in a month) and tried to keep myself busy so I would not think about it. I have not visited one pregnancy forum, no SAIF no FF pregnancy site, even though they have invited me to join several times. I have to wait until the second beta to get truly excited. Don't get me wrong I am excited but keeping it contained until it feels real. I was so full of anxiety last night before bed I did not sleep well. I did take another HPT this morning, it was POSITIVE, so I felt better. It gave me some permission to go down in the basement and pull out my pregnancy books, Pregnany week by week and what to expect when your expecting. They are sitting out and I may read week 1-4 but nothing more. Being that I teach pregnancy for a living this might seem crazy but I like reading these books and it is a good refresher.

Please pray for my beta tomorrow to double, or triple. I want this so badly. I also have a counseling appt tomorrow b/c I made it for when AF arrived, my worst time of the month. I am not sure if I will go since my main problem was dpression b/c of another failed cycle. Also the time I am going is during the time the nurse will call with my beta. I am probably going to cancel.

Praying for higher numbers!

*** UPDATE*** finally posted on SAIF, I am totally scared for tomorrow!

Cautiously Optimistic

that is what the nurse said when she told me that I am PREGNANT!!!!

I was in shock, after the BFN on Tuesday I was sure it was negative. I am so glad I took my progesterone this morning b/c I thought about NOT taking it.

Beta was 99 (which the nurse said is good for 15 DPO) I must go back on Monday for another beta, PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING it doubles! or triples! I want this so badly, and to be honest it has not sunk in yet. My P4 was 32, which she said was great, and they want me to continue taking the progesterone. Which is OKAY with me, now that it has a purpose. I am so happy, scared and nervous all at once.

I think I am still in shock, I went out to get a test just so I could see it myself, and it still has not sunk in. Please pray for me!

ALL THE ANNOUNCEMENTS

All the blogs I read everyday are listed to the right... Most of the ladies I read about are TTCing, some are my ebay MOMMY friends. ALL the blogs I read I pray for those girls to get their BFPs. I get excited when something good happens to them, I get sad when something bad happens, I guess it is because I feel close to them. I read about their lives everyday!

Well, I have been reading some for a while and other just for a month or 2, but I am glad to say out of all the blogs I read 4 yes 4 of those ladies got their BFP in the last week. While I could be WHY NOT ME? I am excited for them, because I know their journey. I know what they have gone through and what their ups and downs were.

While I like to think they got their BFPs b/c I prayed for them, I know that is not the whole situation these ladies worked hard to get what they wanted!, SO JODI, KELLY, JEN and IP, CONGRATS TO YOU GUYS. Now I pray for STICKY HEALTHY BABIES.

I just wonder sometimes how I can be so excited and positive about their journeys, but when it comes to my own, I feel like SHIT. Please let me join you ladies soon.

The CAT is away the MICE will play

Dh has left for the weekend for a canoe trip. I will be home with DD for a girls weekend. We are going to eat all the things DH hates and watch girly movies (OK maybe just ones Avery can see) and Mommy is going to get a lot done around the house and MAYBE we will go shopping. DD loves dresses and she needs more PLAY dresses for outside, she spends most of her time during the day outside with my MOM. I have a feeling dresses are the only things she will want to put on this summer.

I went for my annual appointment today, My DR reassured me that she will still be over seeing my path towards conceiving and that my uterus and ovary looks great. She hopes that we will NOT have to turn to a IUI and I get my BFP soon. It was nice to hear she is rooting for me.

I started the Clomid last night and today I have a headache. Also does anyone have something I can take to increase my CM, is tussin still good for that? Will it interfere with my Clomid??
I have hardly any CM.

Pray for us that this is OUR cycle, I want to BFP so badly.