Just when you thought it was safe...

Infertility Comes and Bites you in the ASS!

I hate that almost 2 years later unplanned / surprise / unwanted pregnancies happen close to home. I am so upset, mad and just plain frustrated.

Life is so unfair.

Happy Birthday Camryn

Can you believe it has been 1 year? I am not sure I still believe it yet.

I laid in bed this morning watching Camryn sleep or toss n turn as she usually does and I started to cry. is it going to be like this at every Birthday she has? I cried the day Avery turned 1 and everyone was singing Happy Birthday but this was definitely different. She is not a baby anymore. But she will always be my baby.

While TTCing you always want these moments and even when she is up at the asscrack of dawn smacking you in the face you can still smile. All I could think of was all the tears, injections and scheduled sex was worth it because if it gave me her in the end I would do it all over again.

It is funny how I can have two amazing little girls who light up my world and they could not be any different. Avery is my independent one. While Camryn is my shadow, where Mommy is Camryn wants to be, right now she is crying to climb my lap as I write this.

Camryn is my meant to be baby and by the grace of GOD who I thank everyday I get to be the one to guide her in life and watch her grow and that makes me feel incredibility lucky.

As much as I would love a third child, the day I had Camryn I felt like this was how it was supposed to be. She was meant to be part of our family.

Mommy Loves you Camryn and you sister more then you will ever know....

Piu la mia vita ~ More then my own life.

We are offically weaned

I can not believe I am done Breastfeeding. In fact I can not believe I breastfed for a entire year!!!! I am so proud of myself but so sad it is over. But glad I get my body back. Such conflicted feelings over this.

Camryn will be a year next week. Can you Believe it? Where did time go?

Weaning

Yes I am still breastfeeding! I can not believe it is almost a year. While I only BF from 4pm - 8am I am still very proud of myself. I truly thought I would only make it to 3 months. However it is time to wean. I need my body back. LOL. BFing has caused me to keep all my baby weight. I am hoping she will allow this to happen b/c I am ready. I truly feel in my heart now is the time. It makes me sad that we will not be doing this any longer but glad I kept up with it.

so wish me luck... I am hoping by weaning her she will not be up to feed in the middle of the night anymore. Mommy needs her sleep.

Happy Mother's Day!

To all those wonderful mother's out there.

Avery sang me a song she learned in preschool about how Mother's are for hugging and Mother's are for kissing and how much she loves her Mother. Made me cry. Such a sap.

Camryn is 11 months.

She is not walking yet but I think by her first Birthday she will be. Where did time go??? Last year at this time I was pregnant and it feels like that was ages ago.

IF awareness week.

I Missed Posting about this. Hugs to those who still struggle and high fives to those who overcame.

I look at my Daughters everyday and thank God for them because they give me purpose in my life. And sometimes I can not believe I made them, carried them and get to be part of their lives forever.

HUGS and KISSES to Avery and Camryn