I finally did it...

I have been saying for weeks, rather months I was going to get my Maternity clothes out of storage and list them on ebay, in my store. I had a lady who lives few miles from here and asked if I had any other maternity items to be listed b/c she would like to take a look because she lives so close and would rather buy locally. Well that is all I needed to get them out of my mind. I listed them, they will start tonight. FEEL FREE TO TAKE A PEEK AND BUY ANYTHING YOU LIKE... www.littleladybugscloset.com

I felt that by the time (if I ever do) get pregnant again, I will want to buy new stuff and who knows how long it will take so why should I have perfectly good inventory just sitting around tanting me... Hmmmm. I felt everytime I thought about these clothes they made me realize I may never wear maternity clothes again, so why keep them. They are still very stylish and by the time I give up on my dream (of having another) they may not be so stylish.

So there they are ready to find a loving home! Feel free to BID or BUY!

Waiting on 2 lines...

I feel Like I am always waiting for 2 lines... At the moment I am waiting for my OPK to show me two lines, I am on CD13 and last cycle (my medicated one) I Oed on this day. Dh is sick and asked me to wait for the two lines before BDing b/c he feels like shit. So I guess the every other day thing is out this cycle BOO.

So as soon as I get my two identical lines on the OPK I will start to wait for the two lines to show on my pregnancy test. I feel like I live my life in twos.

Comment pissed me off...

After stopping by the RE office to pick up the SA cup and spoke to the nurse briefly about when to call when my period arrives I picked up my Daughter at my Mom's. I spoke to my Mom about how scheduling to get this SA done with Dh's schedule will be hard. I also told her that I know this process is going to take longer then I thought, I also asked her to please ask my sister to tell me she is pregnant over the phone instead of in person b/c I do not know how I might react. She said back to me, well your sister SHOULD be pregnant first her son is older then your Daughter, to which I replied, yes but she is also 4 years younger and has no know fertility issues, my clock is ticking and I do not have much time. (I will be 30 next year.) If my ovary was no so messed up I would not worry about it, but I am.

This comment pissed me off b/c it felt like she was hoping my sister would get her BFP first since she DERSERVES it and I don't. This is a load of crock b/c my sister did not even want more children, she said the thought of more made her physically ill. Go figure.

So the point of the story is my sister will probably be pregnant first which will put a damper on our plans b/c I feel like my Mom can not handle two infants at once, 4 kids total. This is not fair, I have been wanting another child for over a year. Sorry to whine, I was just so upset by this comment.

SPRING CLEANING GOT DONE...

Well almost, I still have to do the hallway closet and clean out the refrig, which DH asked for me to wait to do that Tuesday for trash night. I went through every drawer, basket and closet. I made piles for throwing out and yard sale. It felt great to purge some stuff. My aunt would be so proud (she is a professional organizer), now all we have to do is the garage and the yard. I am really going to try to keep my house in order, I said TRY.

I got passed on...

After all this time with my OB/GYN who has been with me through all this reproductive crap for 14 1/2 years, the time in which I lost my ovary to a tumor. She had been through her having to remove my ovary, 5 (yes) 5 cysts, many visits of crying to her at appointments and her crying at my first OB appointment with DD for being so happy I got pregnant. She passed me onto the reproductive specialist. I thought I would do at least 2 more rounds of clomid with her, but nope. I got the call yesturday from the RE's nurse. I was surprised actually, wondering why SHE was calling instead of my OB/GYN nurse.

She explained that my DR wanted the RE to take over for me. They think my levels are too low. So now here is the plan (as she told it) we would do at least 2-3 more cycles of clomid with monitoring. This would allow them to see what is going on it there. Not much so far. Then if that did not work then we would move onto a IUI (insemination).

DH has to get a Sperm Analysis and he was not happy about that at all. Hoping the SA is fine (we conceived DD without help - his little swimmers should be fine right???)

I have some bloodwork to get done and we are starting over again next cycle, today is CD 10 so at lest 20 more days until we start getting serious.

On one hand I am happy things are moving forward, on the other hand I am scared this might lead to a IUI, because we have NO infertility coverage and everything will be OUT OF POCKET and we al know how DH feels about that, see post from April.

Wish me luck.

My Daughter...

I love my daughter so much, she makes me smile every day. She told my Mom she missed me yesturday which I had mentioned before. Last night she was very attached to me. I loved all the hugs and kisses she gives me. She gives me HOPE for future children, I got pregnant with her right??? Why shouldn't I get pregnant again right??

I wish I was more postive about this and even though I love my daughter so much I often wondering how I will handle it if she ends up being my only one. I am afraid I might smother her to for the rest of her life. Over involved MOM, that would be me.

One last project...

I have to updateone last project with my group from school tonight, at least I get to eat PANERA BREAD for dinner while working on it.